Help yourself stay safe

By Davina James-Hanman

Taking Responsibility

He Is Responsible For His Behaviour

Remember that his behaviour is his responsibility. Do not be ashamed to tell someone that he is abusing you. It is not your fault. If he abuses you, he has a problem. Encourage him to get help.

If you think something is wrong, it makes sense to ask for help even though it may be difficult. It does not mean you are stupid or weak to ask for help. It means you are doing something positive to help yourself. Making changes can be hard; getting support can make it easier.

Suicide Is Not The Answer

It is normal to feel depressed at this time in your life (in fact, it would be more worrying if you were not!). Many women have the feeling that suicide is the only real option. Killing yourself may seem like the best escape. If you feel suicidal, it’s often the result of believing your partners’ put-downs, denying your anger towards him and taking it out on yourself. There are other options. There are refuges (safe houses), helplines and people who will help if you reach out. If you don’t find help at first, keep on looking; it doesn’t mean you were wrong to ask. You have a right to be angry about your situation. Use your anger to begin to take care of yourself. Faith and trust in yourself are important to feeling good about yourself. Face your feelings and fears. Praise yourself for what you do well. Have faith in your future. You can learn from your experiences and you can change your life.

Look After Yourself

You are a strong woman and you can grow even stronger by taking some of these steps. When you know you could make it on your own, the choice is yours whether to stay in the relationship or not.

No-one has the right to abuse you.
It is not a private family matter- it’s a crime.
There is never an excuse.
GOOD LUCK!