"Clues" that your Partner is Having an Affair

The first signals of an affair are seldom the stereotypical signs we first consider. They're usually much more subtle, more of an intuitive reaction to changes in a partner's behavior—a sense that "something is different." No matter how careful a person is to hide an affair, these "clues" can't be easily concealed.

Pulling Away: when you sense your partner pulling away—creating an emotional distance between you (because they now need to protect a secret).

Changes in Normal Patterns of Behavior: spending more time away from home, paying more attention to their appearance, being less attentive, being less (or more) interested in sex…

Comments or Actions that are "Out of Character:" making casual comments about new, unfamiliar interests or acting in unfamiliar ways (like becoming more outgoing, less serious).

Being Irritable, Vague, Distracted, "In Their Own World:" ignoring or criticizing any effort you make to question their actions or even engage them in discussing personal issues.

Your own rationalization: if you are repeatedly discounting clues of an affair and trying to convince yourself that YOUR partner wouldn't have an affair, this may be the biggest clue of all.

WARNING: These are only clues (not proof) that your partner is having an affair; so it's wise not to jump to conclusions. Other possible reasons for these behaviors include concerns about health, aging, or finances. But whatever the reason for these changes, they probably indicate a problem that needs to be addressed.

Adapted from The Monogamy Myth,

Tip by Peggy Vaughan