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   Home  > Health Club > Basic Relationship Skills > Articles


By Kate

Feelings, emotions - what are they?

"I still have feelings for her, but I don't love her anymore."

"It just feels so right to be together."

"I just can't bear the pain and anger anymore, I've got to get away from him."

"Our marriage is over - I just don't feel the same way about her anymore."

Our emotions are one of the things we use to measure life by. If we feel happy in a certain situation, we think it's a healthy place to be. If we feel unhappy, we think we should get out or change things. The danger is that we easily let our feelings take over from any values or common sense we have.

What are feelings - they are the emotions that rise up in us in reaction to events going on around us. We can feel happy, sad, excited, bored, anxious, embarrassed, miserable, to name just a few.

They are not thoughts or opinions arising from the mind, but sensations arising from the heart. If we say’ "I feel that you shouldn't do that," we're expressing an opinion or thought and not an emotion.

Many men don't think they have any feelings. They've been brought up by our society to hide their emotions. "Boys don't cry." Yet some men do! It's funny how Italian men seem to be made differently - they don't mind crying!

Men really do have feelings. If you've ever seen a football fan when his team scores a goal, you'll see some feelings surface!!! At most other times many think it's somehow unmanly to express emotion, somehow a sign of weakness!

Everyone has emotions. It's just that some of us push them down out of the way. Some of us do this so well that we think we're unemotional; that actually means we don't acknowledge or express them, not that they aren't there.

Feelings are simply the way we respond to what's happening to us and around us. They are a sign of what is going on inside. They are also unique to us. No other person is quite like you and so know other person has quite the same set of feelings.

We can't control them or make them really go away. Have you ever tried making yourself feel happy, when you're miserable. It's not that easy.

How are you feeling right now? Calm, excited, bored, interested, anxious, fearful, embarrassed, irritated?

What can we do with our feelings?

In this article
- Feelings, emotions - what are they?
- What can we do with our feelings?
- Where do feelings come from?
- Trying to make ourselves feel better
- Keeping our relationship emotionally healthy

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