Tammi I'm in a similar boat, but its over cigarettes, not pot. In my situation I belive there is more at hand.... In any case, I have a choice to make, and that is to quit smoking or my wife will leave forever! Even though she is guilty of smoking too, she would share a cigarette with me from time to time.... (so ya there is more issues that haven't come up yet.)
However I know I have to change something, why is my wife getting upset with me? It may not be the smoking, but I have to start somewhere.
I have to set the example. Show my wife that she means everything to me... so the cigarettes are gone, on come the patches!!!
Ron is right, we don't have intentions of getting addicted it just happens. In no way does this justify my Smoking. Its a bad and filthy habit that could end my marriage to a wonderful human being. When all she is doing is trying to look out for my well being and my health, what more could I want from a woman who cares for me in such a way.
Lets put it this way, if I continue smoking - what is stopping me from trying pot now that I've smoked a cigarettes for a year. If I smoke pot, whats stopping me from trying something else like Heroine?
I don't know about you, but have you ever been really drunk that you were brave enough to try something? Say like Ecstacy? Have you ever been "HIGH" enough to try something like Crystal Meth?
Sure it may only be pot or cigarettes for now? Ask yourself - what happens when he's at a party and someone brings a mysterious bag into the circle! We've been smoking up for a while and feeling a bit brave? DARN RIGHT WE ARE BRING ON THE NEW STUFF!
It doesn't stop there! Eventually it may lead to something else, do you want to be around when it does? There is no - "Maybe it won't" - temptation is always going to be there.
I don't know if this helped, but I'll be dammed if I'm going to lose my wife over a cigarette when all she is worried about is my health. Sure there are other issues, but I have to start someplace. Instead of smoking, I could be spending time with my wife at a movie or dinner. (All the money you save)
What I'm trying to say is HOLD YOUR GROUND! So like your husband and I, If we are complete dumb dumbs and give up our wives for a SMOKE... We deserve what we get!
Good luck, I hope things work out. Take Care