Cheated on when pregnant - now feel helpless!totally heart broken! advice/ support

[Littlelostme]

I've recently found out that 2 years ago my husband had a bit of a thing from a girl from work! This was while I was 4 months pregant with out first child, 2 months after my father passed and 9 months after we got married. We got together at university 10 years ago. There was Lots of flirting, 2 kisses and then they both said it was stupid and went their separate ways! Ocassionally chatting quite innocently if rather over friendly. I had always been suspicious of his over friendlyness to her and he reassured me again and again that they were just friends. 2 months ago she got in contact to ask for a work reference after not speaking in about a year. He went out and was drunk and on the way home sent her some very inappropriate messages- following her having a whinge about not finding a good man! He said something along the lines of get the rabbit out and try not to get wet thinking of me! The conversation ended! But I saw it- well most of it! As he had deleated the start of the conversation! Anyway over the period of about 6 weeks he has finally come clean about what happened- well as far as he says! He told her not to contact him again after it all kicked off. And they haven't been in contact since. We've had an awful few months. I've tried desperately to forgive him but when I look at him I jut see her and can't see any of the goodness I once loved on him. He is like a stranger. I've tried to get over it- romantic breaks, sex, long chats...but I just can't. We have a beautiful 1 1/2 year old daughter. I moved to England for him 8 years ago and have lost contact with a lot of friends at home, have grown distant from family, have no real friends in England, have left my job, renting a place from his parents. I left my job when I got pregnant and didn't go back as I'm looking after my daughter. Have lost all confidence to do the job I did and also don't want to. I have no income, no home, no friends, no family and a baby daughter. He is begging me to stay- he's had a tough time, almost had a nervous breakdown. A lot of time has been focused on his recovery. Now he is recovering still left in complete darkness. I tried to take my own life 3 weeks ago. I won't do it again as it was selfish as I have a beautiful daughter. I just don't know a way out. I'm stuck here and don't know what to do. She was totally different to me. I regard myself as quite a classy person, I enjoy watching TV and doing crafts and homely things. She takes half naked selfies of herself every day and posts them on social media. She is a complete slut and now I know the type he likes I don't understand why he is with me! He said he never wanted her just liked the attention and knew he could quit it at any time. And that it wouldn't have went further as he loves me. I don't understand how u can love someone and cheat on them when they r most vunerable. He has completely broken my heart and i am completely isolated and vunerable and penniless without him. I don't know what to do.