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Old 20th March 2006, 03:22 AM   #1
tan
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What is it with mobile phones???

Nearly all posts that I read have had some evidence in them that their partners are stupid enough to use their mobile phones to contact the OW/OM. I always enjoyed having my mobile phone and receiving texts from my H but now I hate the idea of mobile phones. It is an easy tool to send you txts saying "I wont be home" instead of having the guts to say it to your face. Another easy tool to hide phone numbers, even under alias names. Then to top it off, the ones on the receiving end of the deception and lies are made to feel guilty about following their gut feelings and looking into the phone, finding texts and phone numbers etc. It amazes me how quickly the blame turns and the guilt is pushed aside to another. Let's face facts here!! Cheating on someone and lying to them is more to be concerned about than going through someone's mobile phone! If you every want to look into anything of mine, mobile phone, address book, handbag, your welcome to it. I've got nothing to hide and saying "It ever entered my mind, I trust you" doesn't cut it because you know that I'm not the one causing the deception!

Just needed to get that of my chest!

Don't feel guilty about looking through your partners mobile, if they have nothing to hide, they won't care!
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Old 20th March 2006, 05:09 AM   #2
London
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

okay.......
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Old 20th March 2006, 11:53 AM   #3
Kimberley
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Hi Tan


Totally agree that is how I caught my H out in the end - the other annoying thing was he charges the bloody thing next to my head - we do have other plugs in the house - how rude. He also said it never occurred to him that I would ever look! Now you cant get near it for love nor money and it is on silent - if your Partner becomes particularly secretive with their phone and its always in their pocket you can bet there is something on it they do not want others to see.

Yes you are right - the blame went quickly to me for having the nerve to look - the trouble is it is too easy for them to delete the inbox and outbox any way.

Im the same as you I leave my diary, mobile phone and handbag any where in the house because I am an open book and I dont lie. The other device is of course the computer and emailing it makes it too easy and dont get me started on Friends Reunited.

Regards

Kimberley
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Old 20th March 2006, 02:18 PM   #4
caitlin
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Hi Tan

I totally agree with you also that is how i found out my husband had been texting another woman for 3 mths. We have worked it out and are moving on but not a day goes by that i dont think about it. I used to love getting messages but now i hate even hearing one beep (mine or not).
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Old 20th March 2006, 02:56 PM   #5
Nick
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Couldnt help smiling at the mobile phone stuff. my wife received the all damning fist text from the O/M (after the classic FRIENDS REUNITED which started it all - not that, frankly, it can be blamed) and sods law for her, it was the first time a had ever read her texts or looked at her phone at all!

And Caitlin, two years later, when I hear that Nokia beep, I look around, wherever I am, it wakes me in sleep, or in a cafe, anywhere.....

Mobiles are of course not to blame really, but just smiled...beep beep.....beep beep.

"Your phone just beeped Kate"....
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Old 20th March 2006, 03:31 PM   #6
blackbeard
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

And again!! Caught my wife out by checking her phone, it used to go everywhere with her even into the shower, then she left it charging one day so I checked it. I felt terrible doing that and would have probably felt even worse had I not found anything, when I challenged her the next day she did indeed make me feel guilty about it. She then came up with every excuse in the book as to what the texts were about none of which I believed but I let her think I believed them whilst I sought to gather more evidence.
Certainly in my case the ends justified the means, doesn't make me feel any better though!!
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Old 20th March 2006, 04:53 PM   #7
shadow
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Well phone didnt have nothing to do with mine..... but usually only ones that get mad if you look at anything is the ones that are guilty of something!! I would never feel guilty over it cause the feeling of being made a fool of is worse then being a snoop. And after you know about a affair then they kind of lose the privacy, it is part of trying to get your partners trust back from a affair, to prove that they are being honest and meaning that they are wanting to make the relationship work.
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Old 21st March 2006, 01:26 AM   #8
tan
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Here's something that will make you laugh. Over the weekend I thought I'd put the shoe on the other foot. I was protective of my mobile, had it with me all the time. Last night my phone rang and it was a different ring tone than I usually have (I hadn't changed it), it was my brother that rang, when I got off the phone I looked at my daughter and said "Who's been playing with my phone?" (She likes to play games on it), My H became very defensive and said "Maybe you need to turn it on and off, maybe there's something wrong with it, no-one has touched it!" I suppose what's good for the goose is good for the gander!!!
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Old 21st March 2006, 02:24 AM   #9
Helen
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Technology has definitely changed the way affairs are conducted. Once upon a time, contact had to be maintained by face to face meetings or handwritten letters. Then came phones. Internet and mobile phones followed swiftly after that. We now have webcams - you name it, it exists. With these changes came a change to the type of affairs people could have. So affairs were not just physical affairs any more. They could be virtual affairs too...

My ex bought a second phone. As soon as I saw it, I knew what he was up to. I only got a sneak peak at it once and there were texts on it from some woman (a groupie who was in lust with him - he is a part time DJ). He said he resisted her advances. I have no idea if this true and frankly, I don't care any more. We are divorced and he is another woman's problem now.

All of that said, I would not blame mobile phones. Technology is there to be exploited and that is what we humans tend to do...


Helen
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Old 21st March 2006, 04:07 PM   #10
hoxton
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Hi Lee,
Have you confronted your W about the text messages you found ? Because if she does not know you have seen them she may be thinking you have no proof so why come clean ?And if there is an explanation then maybe you can try and sort things out I am sure as much as she does not want you snooping she will then understand why you feel the way you do,
And i still think that your gut instinct is the best tell tale sign I knew for a long time my H was not the same towards me just a feeling in my gut.

And as much as she hates to have a partner that checks her phone she needs to know she has made you feel you cant trust her and understand that the trust has to be built up again. And if she has done nothing wrong then why would it be a proberlem all it will do is make you feel guilty for checking on them and it will stop once you start feeling more secure.
Good luck.
Amanda.
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Old 24th March 2006, 11:31 AM   #11
smoky
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

well put tan my wife has just had an affair and she caught me checking her phone and went mad now i feel the guilty one!
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Old 27th March 2006, 01:09 AM   #12
tan
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

It is always the innocent that feel the most guilt!
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Old 29th June 2006, 10:37 PM   #13
anna472
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Hi guys im a newbie here so be gently k lol.

Well my story is very similar to all of yours however mine has a twist regarding mobile phones.

I have allways had the feeling my husband thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and seemed to be allways searching for something missing in his life never quite happy or satisfied, he allways maintained his social life with his mates i gave up going out with him as i am jealous or paranoid he would say as we would have arguments because he is very handsome and women lust after him (silly cows) lol Anyway he started to come home from the pub later and later and was very concious of his phone whereabouts which intrigued me i know him very well after 11years of marriage so that made me snoop that and my gut feeling was like a hungry roaring lion screaming at me something is not quite right here?
I started to collect numbers stored and used both incoming and outgoing on his mobile phone this was difficult because as i already mentioned he was keeping it in close quarters, i would wait til he was snoring from drunken unconciousness and creep in like a thief in the night with a pounding heart i felt sure he could hear and pinch it right from under his nose, after a few weeks of this and an ever growing growling gut roaring feelings i discovered upon checking his balance and not disconnecting quick enough that there was a facility within the main menu of the network that featured the last call made from the phone or the last message sent from the mobile etc. now this phone was my old one so its registered to me and password also is mine, i noticed a number frequently popping up too frequently if u get my drift, the number was one of easy numbers so remembering it was simple as the numbers in it were mainly of one digit. i didnt mention it to him but decided to dial it no one ever answered it, but i was ringing from a withheld number so no caller id was sending, also out of the many, many times i dialed it twice a man answered and i thought dont think hubby gay so someone trying to throw me off the trail ere, us girls know our men and know thier phone usage understand if they are texters, callers or too mean to use it this made me concerned that a person suddenly goes from using the phone once or twice a month to six to ten times a day suddenly almost over night screams oh oHHHH.

My husbands obsession with things staying the same made him predictable ie he allways showered before tea etc made him a victim of pattern so he thought he was scheming and cool while clever but it hung him as it dawned on me hang on get on the itemised billing online well if i did quite a picture it painted i was devasted as by this time he had left me, totally denying another woman and still does the contact to one number was 33/50 i was am gutted as this was only last week i confronted him and he denied all knowledge of this number but refused to vindicate himself by calling the network while i stayed i wanted him to validate his claim as would have been less heartbreaking for me u know, anyway i couldnt get it outta him though my gutt was saying he is a liar ten times over.

i got a professional to sort a trace on the phone i know its not right to do so but i needed to know i was not losing my marbles my goodness within one hour i knew everything about her, the bitch lives one bliddy street away from me. shes an ex girlfriend from his youth and i have had to have her by the scruff once or twice and she has a thing for him big time, she is the village bike has goodness knows what infections and three kids by different dads and no mates (kinda builds a picture) she is what they call gothic so shes skinny black dyed hair and a white face shes awful and im gutted but do u know what he didnt leave me for her - he left me cos it was easier than having the balls to explain who what where and he knows im like a dog with a bone and further more he was deleting all the communications between them before coming home i knew this via the network balance checking so that in itself is enough to make u think hang on. folks make no mistake if a partner is not doing anything wrong from the handset he/she has not reason to delete, unless messages full, a stinger for u to look for is call history in out missed all empty, messages in out saved all empty and numbers hidden under other numbers such as front home. next mobile underneath etc so dont accept what u see from the scroll list in a mobile phone numbers list ok check the options then details see what u find i found it by sheer mistake but the **** head is guilty and now im doing him for adultery.

thanks for reading, from a very sad and lonely innocent. x
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Old 30th June 2006, 04:50 PM   #14
Kimberley
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

Hi Anna

Thanks for sharing my word you went to some lengths to catch your hubby out! Im so impressed. My finding out was much more random, I was of course the last to know the whole world but me knew last October and I found out in February but he carried on until end April and then I think he has gone back to the trollop. She is older than me has three children, botox, a big arse and is currently a nice shade of tangerine. But apparently its all about communicating. He only went sniffing again when I said no more so she has him by default and by god after the last four months she is welcome to him. She may walk around like the cat that has the cream with her open marriage but that does not give her the right to waltz in and ruin some one elses marriage.

Mobile phones def. make it a lot easier for sneaky communications but if they are inclined to cheat then they will regardless of how.

Were better than them have standards and deserve respect.

If yours is anything like mine leave them to it and move on.

Kimberley X
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Old 30th June 2006, 05:43 PM   #15
tiamaria
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Re: What is it with mobile phones???

well done girl, i just wish i was as strong as you.
my husband left me and my son for someone younger with no ties and still living at home at thirty.I thought we had no problems with our marriage not long moved into a new house from a 1 bed room flat couldnt have wished for a better life didnt even have money worries.
it came as a big shock i still think i will wake up from this nightmare but he wants a divorce he has only been away for 5 weeks i just have to go along with him i dont want any more arguements.
i have a wonderful son who is 5 i dont think i could have gone on without him he is good company.
i cannot understand what terrible thing i have done to upset my husband and why he needs to hurt me so much but he is determined not to come back he wont give us a chance i thought 16 years together would have meant something.
having a low day today going to a wedding tomorrow not realy looking forward to it .
i too found out about the affair with his mobile phone
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