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Old 15th April 2015, 01:05 PM   #16
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
sarah I am assuming that you are in the USA? I do know that many in the USA have these appalling, hateful and disgusting views on colour and race. Believe me, its NOTHING to do with God or the Bible, I and My husband are strong Christians and we wouldnt have any problems at all with any of our children marrying someone from another country or race, and I find it impossible to believe there are still people like them about. It makes me wants to weep. I am sure it makes God weep as well, because to Him you are beautiful and precious. They will be held accountable for their terrible behaviour one day.

If my family treated my husband like that, I would have cut them off immediately, but sadly he is still very much under their control and manipulation. You are better off away from the lot of them to be honest, I would feel like slapping them round the face after 5 minutes to be honest, their total ignorance makes my blood boil.
I'm still amazed that you think this post is okay. There are racists all over the world, as Sarah's post clearly indicates. There are 318 million people in the U.S. The majority are NOT racist. If they were, Barack Obama would not have been elected. Most of the people in this country believe in equality--not everyone, but most. We are not perfect, but like most countries we strive to be better.

There are Americans on this board, and I just can't understand the insensitivity. You said "many" people in the U.S. You're basing that on a television show and a few people you know in Texas? To use words like "hateful, appalling, and disgusting" to describe "many" Americans--to assume she was from the U.S. when she clearly wasn't as we spell it it as
"color" here. And Sarah spelled it as "colour."

I don't want to argue as I have much respect for you but you might want to realize that your words could potentially be hurtful to others.
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Old 15th April 2015, 01:38 PM   #17
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

Sarah,

I am so sorry you are going through this. He is obviously being influenced by his family. His family is never going to change their views. If they were they would have done so by now. No matter where your family is from, you deserve respect. Color doesn't matter in matters of love or any part of life. We are all equal. There might be people who disagree, but you know in your heart prejudice is wrong. I am sorry anyone tried to make you feel as if you were less than. You know better, however. Hold your head high. Your real friends will understand what happened. Perhaps you need to try to explain this to more of your mutual friends. If you don't feel like it, I understand.

I am sorry this happened to you.I know you are hurting. You have been through much in life, from losing your parents to being rejected by your in-laws. I know you expected your husband to stand up for you. I'm truly sorry he didn't. Don't be angry with yourself. You need time to grieve the last 5 years of your life. That's normal. I hope you give yourself time to do just that.
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Old 15th April 2015, 02:01 PM   #18
chosen
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Re: Racist in-laws

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Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
I'm still amazed that you think this post is okay. There are racists all over the world, as Sarah's post clearly indicates. There are 318 million people in the U.S. The majority are NOT racist. If they were, Barack Obama would not have been elected. Most of the people in this country believe in equality--not everyone, but most. We are not perfect, but like most countries we strive to be better.

There are Americans on this board, and I just can't understand the insensitivity. You said "many" people in the U.S. You're basing that on a television show and a few people you know in Texas? To use words like "hateful, appalling, and disgusting" to describe "many" Americans--to assume she was from the U.S. when she clearly wasn't as we spell it it as
"color" here. And Sarah spelled it as "colour."

I don't want to argue as I have much respect for you but you might want to realize that your words could potentially be hurtful to others.
I am basing it on what the people I know in the USA have told me about what goes on there. In their county and others in the south, racism is still very much alive.

I never said in any way you or all Americans are racist, far from it, but a large number are, especially in certain counties.

I didnt describe Americans as hateful appalling or disgusting, but the family of her husband. I am a mod on a large American Christian forum, and many there are lovely people and not racist at all, but there are large sections of the USA who are.
Evidently its also very much going on in the Isle of Lewis also.

Last edited by chosen; 15th April 2015 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 15th April 2015, 02:24 PM   #19
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
I am basing it on what the people I know in the USA have told me about what goes on there. In their county and others in the south, racism is still very much alive.

I never said in any way you or all Americans are racist, far from it, but a large number are, especially in certain counties.

I didnt describe Americans as hateful appalling or disgusting, but the family of her husband. I am a mod on a large American Christian forum, and many there are lovely people and not racist at all, but there are large sections of the USA who are.
Evidently its also very much going on in the Isle of Lewis also.
Your words--"I do know that many in the USA have these appealing, hateful, and disgusting views on colour and race."

You said a "large" number of Americans are racist. I do live in the north, but I have vacationed in the south including Texas, and the people I met and know were far from racist.

Is there racism in America? I can't deny that. But like I said, racism clearly exists in many parts of the world. Please don't paint my country with a broad brush. I would never say one bad word against your country or any other.

I stand by my assertion that the majority of this country which has 318 million people--the majority are not racist.

We have the first president or prime minister of color in the Western world right here in the United States. He could not have been elected without whites voting for him as well.

Last edited by Lindentree1; 15th April 2015 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 15th April 2015, 02:31 PM   #20
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
Your words--"I do know that many in the USA have these appealing, hateful, and disgusting views on colour and race."

You said a "large" number of Americans are racist. I do live in the north, but I have vacationed in the south including Texas, and the people I met and know were far from racist.

Is there racism in America? I can't deny that. But like I said, racism clearly exists in many parts of the world. Please don't paint my country with a broad brush. I would never say one bad word against your country or any other.

I stand by my assertion that the majority of this country which has 318 million people--the majority is not racist.

We have the first president or prime minister of color in the Western world right here in the United States. He could not have been elected without whites voting for him as well.
I don't mean to derail Sarah's thread. She's needs support, and that is what she should get. I really don't have much more to say. People are going to think what they want. I don't believe in the superiority of any country. Every country has issues. I wouldn't claim to know the inner workings of a country I've never been to, or even know the heart and soul of a country I've visited. I've been to England and loved it. I don't believe you've been here. I may be a bit cranky because I have not had breakfast yet, but I stand by what I've said even though I might have worded it with more eloquence. If I've offended anyone, I apologize. But I can't believe that sticking up for a place I love could be a bad thing.

ETA: I didn't mean to quote my post again. I don't know how that happened.
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Old 15th April 2015, 03:05 PM   #21
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

I will say, Chosen--you have helped and supported me immensely, and for that I am profoundly grateful. We don't have to agree on everything, but I do have the utmost respect for you, which is why I was hesitant to address this subject. So I'm going to exit this thread so I don't distract from Sarah's issue.
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Old 15th April 2015, 07:53 PM   #22
chosen
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Re: Racist in-laws

Ok, I am only going on what many Americans have told me.
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Old 16th April 2015, 10:42 AM   #23
Raymond
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Re: Racist in-laws

Your husband was the one under control Sarah. Once married you should have been seperates entities without any control coming from his parents. In a way he enabled some of their behaviour.

It is all very sad but you musn't let it control your life now through any bitterness. Forgiveness of them will release you although it does not in any way endorse their behaviour. It was wrong.
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Old 12th June 2015, 05:09 PM   #24
LibraLady
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Re: Racist in-laws

Well, beautiful Sarah, just take this as a lesson learned, not a failure on your part, at all. The next person you meet should be wiling and able to stand up for you and be by your side, no matter what and should not have to be given an ultimatum by you.

Unfortunately, the apple didn't fall far from the racist tree with your ex-husband. But you are beautiful and made in God's image. Rebuild your self esteem and walk with your head up high. As soon as you run across a person who is toxic to you and your well-being, cut them off immediately. As for your ex and his family, all you can do is pray for them, it was their loss, not yours.
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Old 16th June 2015, 11:41 PM   #25
sarah1985
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Re: Racist in-laws

Hello. This is Sarah's friend Claire. Sarah took her own life last month after many months of struggling with the emotional abuse she had suffered from her inlaws and her own husband not standing by her and joining in the villifying of her. She explained in a letter she lad left that the suffering was too much and that the lies told by her inlaws were too much for her to bear. A beautiful, loving and sweetest person. How he and his family could have treated her so badly is heartbreaking. Sarah struggled without asking for support, she always put on a smile and braved the world and helped others even when she was struggling so much herself. Behind that loving smile was the most tragic heartbreak. On a Saturday evening she volunteered with a homeless shelter and talked in her note of how she wishes she could stay to help the people there get their lives back on track- faultless to the end, thinking of others. A lot of Sarah's accounts were signed in on her laptop (including this one) and I have read some of her emails. The emails she had received from her mother in law and auntie in laws are horrific. the words they say are so hurtful that the most hardened heart would wimper. Absolute evil - living right here in Scotland in Inverness. She masquerades as a friendly middle aged lady who goes to church every sunday and is actively involved in the church (church of scotland). I contacted the police and showed them the emails but they cannot take action. they agreed the emails were disgusting and the senders (several of the inlaws family) were horrible, horrible people but no actual crime had been committed. I don't know how to end this message I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words to sarah. I know that it will have helped her. claire xx

Last edited by sarah1985; 17th June 2015 at 12:33 AM.
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Old 17th June 2015, 05:09 AM   #26
chosen
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Re: Racist in-laws

Claire, I am so so sorry to hear such sad news. Poor poor lady.


I thought hate mail was a crime? THose awful people will pay for what they have done and I hope her husband feels very guilty now and stops allowing his vile family to rule him. I bet they are playing the grieving family card now.


IF only they could have moved right away and cut them off completely and he had had the balls to be a man. Makes me so MAD.

Last edited by chosen; 17th June 2015 at 05:15 AM.
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Old 17th June 2015, 05:28 AM   #27
Lindentree1
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Re: Racist in-laws

This is so shocking and horrible. I'm sorry for your loss, Claire. Thank you for letting us know. What a tragic ending to a very sad story. I so wish things had been different for Sarah. She deserved better.
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Old 21st June 2015, 05:10 PM   #28
Raymond
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Re: Racist in-laws

Yes it is such a tragedy. One can never know what is going on deep down with people one talks with on here. Thank you for telling us Claire.
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