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Old 26th August 2011, 08:57 PM   #76
Helen_uk
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

And now there will be fewer . Which I guess will mean even less balance.
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Old 26th August 2011, 09:06 PM   #77
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

thats possible but anyone is free to post(and they can hopefully be free of the playground)

Last edited by chosen; 27th August 2011 at 10:16 AM.
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Old 26th August 2011, 10:22 PM   #78
Forever
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Baroness,
I am back from Mexico...mouth is sore but I have movie star quality teeth!!! I cant believe what quality of work they did on all of us, and at 1/3 the price! I am glad to see you are doing so much better. Yes, God does indeed do miracles!!! Sometimes we have to wait a long time to see them...meanwhile, we change into something more pleasing to Him during the process. Never give up hope, you are doing so well now. There will be days that wont be as good as other days, but that is when we need each other to give us a lift.

Take care, and God Bless you!
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Old 26th August 2011, 10:35 PM   #79
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Forever, glad that you are back and fine after your dental work.

Last edited by chosen; 26th August 2011 at 10:49 PM.
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Old 27th August 2011, 03:42 PM   #80
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I'm so glad you are back, Forever. As I said, your last posting really helped me see my h in a different light. Its so wonderful to hear from Christians because after all, we are sisters in Christ. We have that bond. I think I have pink eye or something. The side of my right eye is bright red and there's a small clot over the iris and I don't see a difference this morning.

I did research on line and they say it could heal itself and go away but it will take anywhere from 1 week to 2 and of course it could be something more serious but I am not claiming that. I asked God to heal it and I believe he will. It's a little swollen but I don't really have any pain. Most of the time this happens when your eye is hit or something but nothing like that happened.

I know I was rubbing it a lot a couple of days ago and they say something can just get in it so my h is very concerned but I believe God will heal it or it will clear up on its own, I will wait a couple of more days and see how it goes, but it looks terrible.

Chosen, thanks for your words of encouragement and you are right. I am leaving in just a little while to go with my best friend over to her house for the night while I do laundry. We will have dinner together. She used to be a christian but turned away from God long ago but she still believes in him but doesn't think he is a personal God.

When she or her family get into trouble, whether it be from illness or whatever, she always calls me first and asks me to pray. I am the only Christian she is around so its important to keep this friendships which is a little over thirty years so she can be exposed to things of God because when her family members are healed I tell her that I know it was God.

I met her when I was seventeen and she was fourteen and we went to church together for years but when God didn't give her the man she wanted she just turned away from him but she encouraged me to go to chruch and she knows my whole family and has for years and she used to be a half cousin by marriage.

She's a little domineering at times but was very supportive when I was going through the vodka thing and never judged me. Someone from this thread recently asked me if I was drinking and I didn't think that was too cool because everyone knows I quit vodka 2 years ago. I'm not even tempted to drink vodka when I go to that nightclub about once a year. I quit just like that and God helped me I'm sure.

But now I can help others who may have had a drinking problem because I went through that. My problem was not the vodka itself but being in a bar and having a good time so I just kept drinking. That is behind me now and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

Other than my eye problem we are still doing very good and its amazing that once I changed the way I thought, everything seems more comfortable here and the whole atmosphere lighter. I did think briefly about him not sleeping with me last night but I just talked to God instead and I believe he will move in this area.

I always have a good time when I go over my friends house and we're going to curl up and watch a movie and eat!
 
Old 27th August 2011, 09:23 PM   #81
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Isnt that sad when someone turns from God because he didnt give them something that they wanted? Maybe if she asks you to pray another time, suggest that she prays herself because her prayers are just as good as yours!
Girl friends are great arent they.
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Old 28th August 2011, 10:20 PM   #82
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I'm back and I had a lovely time and my h was worried about my eye so I guess he stayed by the phone. Half the time he doesn't even answer it. He also said he missed me when he came home so that is always good. My eye seems to be a little better but I'm thinking of going to the doctor anyway, not that I have health insurance.

It is good to be home though. I took my hats over there to show her and she liked them and I have a friend here in the complex and she was so excited about them she was thinking of ways to sell them. When I take new pictures of my new additions I'll put a couple of them on here for you to see. Yes, it was hard when my friend didn't want anything more to do with God because our whole friendship started with us both being Christians.

I don't preach at her at all, not my way but God can't help but come up because he's part of my life and she doesn't mind hearing about it. She has always been a supportive and kind friend and we help each other out all the time with things around her house and her taking me shopping, etc. She lived further away and not she is very close so I am happy about that.

We get together the first Saturday of every month and have breakfast out and then go shopping together. She's not sure this new hat business of mine will work out and her and my h don't have anything to do with one another because they had a falling out years ago when she judged him and expressed her doubts to me about him. It's like he has to prove himself to her and he isn't going to prove himself to anyone.

He doesn't care for domineering women and so he doesn't discourage our friendship but he doesn't want to hang out with her either. He has friends I'm not crazy about either but I like most of them since I've known them for years. He needs to forgive her but since she's never asked for forgiveness or admitted she was wrong about him, this is the way its going to be.

That's fine, its been this way for years. He doesn't mind when I go over to her house and he will drop me off sometimes but most of the time she just comes and gets me. Well, its good to be home because I sleep better in my own bed. She did tell me that she was glad he didn't give me a hard time when I go over there.

He gets to get out almost every day while I am here and sometimes I'll walk to the store, which is right around the corner, but we don't really have the funds right now to go out and do things together and he will not go to a Pentecostal church with me and he's up at the canyon on Sunday morning anyway. I thought we would find a church to go to together long ago but they depend on him on the weekends until noon.

I went out of my way to volunteer up at the canyon last year so we could do something as a couple but he won't do the same for me regarding going to church. Maybe someday but I don't think he gets it that its important to have fellowship with other Christians, him being an ex catholic and all. Perhaps God will show him differently.
 
Old 31st August 2011, 03:10 AM   #83
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I haven't been feeling too well the past couple of days, my eye is really bothering me and didn't seem to be getting better and I got a call to go on an interview and yesterday I started feeling light headed and had to lie down and I was having a panic attack because I thought something was seriously wrong with me.

I went to the doctor and my eye will be fine but it will take a couple of weeks to be completely normal again. I was afraid it was something serious because I read about it on line and it wasn't pink eye which is contagious and since I'd never had anything like it before I was making myself sick I guess. Anyway, I feel better today. My h was really understanding and caring.

I guess you find out how much a h cares when something happens to you and he gets all worried. It was such a helpless feeling and I don't ever want to feel that way again. I think it was an attack of the enemy because I've been doing so well. But i'm not giving him credit for anything. I have an interview at the local library and I would love to work part time there and its pretty close.

I haven't seen anyone post on here for a few days and I hope everyone is all right. God bless.
 
Old 3rd September 2011, 03:19 AM   #84
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I don't know where everyone is but I told you I'd show you my hats and so I'm going to try and do that. My eye is a lot better and I had a really good interview yesterday for a library clerk position. Things are okay here, just getting ready for the holiday on monday.

He's still doing what he does every day, watching movies, but he seems in good spirits. I noticed there has been no sign of affection between us now for over a week. I tell you, if I don't make the effort it doesn't get done. I am still reading my bible and praying and that's how I get through the days. I actually am in good spirits lately even though nothing has changed at all.

Going to that interview helped. It was in front of a panel and I wasn't nervous at all but came off as professional and confident. I had forgotten how well I do at those things. I may have another interview next week as well. Getting out and working even part time would be good for me.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg small pic of back of hat.jpg (83.4 KB, 580 views)
File Type: jpg Teardrop hat with satin tulle ribbon and feathers.jpg (93.9 KB, 530 views)
 
Old 6th September 2011, 07:49 PM   #85
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Good news. My h and I slept together last night.
 
Old 6th September 2011, 09:17 PM   #86
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Yay, thats progress!
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Old 7th September 2011, 03:26 AM   #87
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Yes, its been awhile but he probably won't sleep in the bed with me tonight. He does this every once in awhile although its been quite some time and I really wasn't expecting it. There is no pressure on him so perhaps that's why he felt comfortable. We had a nice time listening to music last night and talking but I did not bring up anything about our lack of sex.

It was a fun and relaxing time together and we hadn't done that in awhile. It left me with no doubt that he does indeed love me but that this is something he either can't or won't help. I truly believe it is ed because the last thing he said to me before going to sleep was that he loved me very much.

Since I let go and let God take over my thinking about this, things have been better for us. I hope I am not just fooling myself. It concerns me a little that because I don't bring it up, he thinks its okay and so he doesn't have to even try. Do you think that is a possibility?
 
Old 9th September 2011, 11:05 AM   #88
George
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Baronness

Hello again to everyone. It's good to read that Baroness seems to be on the right track with her h, uplifting in fact. However it appears as though there's also been some bickering and less than supportive posting on here recently, which to be frank put me off coming back and answering questions which were put to me a good few weeks ago now.

But I had to post what I read in the the Times yesterday about a court case in France, as it is directly related to the thread topic.

"The cost of no sex after marriage

So, now we know the official value of l’amour. A French woman, “Monique”, has successfully sued “Jean-Louis”, her husband of two decades, for failing to have sex with her “for a period of several years.” The judge declared that “sexual relations must form part of a marriage” and Monique won €10,000.

Amazing. And not just because most British women would simply shrug, make a cup of tea and think: “Oh, well — one less job to do.” How was such a sum arrived at? Is 8,700 the going rate to mend hurt feelings when your spouse deems you unravishable? It’s hardly a life-changing amount.

Still, let’s work it out.

The couple were married for 21 years, so let’s assume that 15 of them were sexless. The average married couple has coitus twice a week, which means that Monique missed out on 1,560 *****. The settlement thus equates to 5.57 for each time Jean-Louis failed to “sweep the chimney”. That’s less than the price of two pork chops.

Poor Jean-Louis. I’m not sure which is worse: that a courtroom now knows he couldn’t rise to the occasion or that even if he had, his efforts were valued at less than a Chinese takeway."

Carol Midgely Journalist/Columnist for The Times, 8th September 2011 (slightly edited)
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Old 9th September 2011, 12:44 PM   #89
Raymond
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Bad decision I think and will lead to faulty case law. Sex that takes place because of a fear of being sued is worth nothing.
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Old 9th September 2011, 06:14 PM   #90
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Very interesting. Too bad I can't sue mine because then I would be able to make it on my own or at least go shopping!
 
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