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Old 21st August 2013, 08:06 PM   #91
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Hey. My wife is doing the same. Honestly, please stay strong, keep your dignity. If he is going to do this , he will do it regardless. It's all about you now. We both can do this. Honestly we can. Keep posting. I will.
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Old 21st August 2013, 08:14 PM   #92
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

I think you need to see a solicitor.
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Old 21st August 2013, 08:27 PM   #93
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Chosen is right
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Old 21st August 2013, 08:58 PM   #94
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I've seen one. I just...can't believe it. Honestly. He is just a boy...left after 9 months of marriage cause his wife lost her dad. I married for life. All I can do is leave him alone now. Only if I give him what he wants will he have time to think...although I'm bit stupid, I just hope still the silence may make him think as I haven't done that
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Old 21st August 2013, 08:59 PM   #95
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Re: Husband has left!

Things were going well. I genuinely believe I brought this on by confronting him on Monday. I applied pressure and he's ran
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Old 21st August 2013, 09:04 PM   #96
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

No. He already had made his choice. Stop beating yourself up.
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Old 21st August 2013, 09:15 PM   #97
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

He hasn't filed for anything so all I can do is leave him alone but..... We have a house, 2dohgs, I'm young, slim, funny, nice, been told I'm pretty. I work, have no children, What more does he want.
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Old 21st August 2013, 09:28 PM   #98
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Contol !! A puppet on a string maybe. Sorry, that's what I became. Fight back , not for him , for you. It's good you list all your positive thoughts about yourself. Keep telling yourself all those good things, maybe you can come to believe them
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Old 21st August 2013, 09:52 PM   #99
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

I want him home...
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Old 21st August 2013, 09:56 PM   #100
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

I know. Thinking of you.
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Old 21st August 2013, 10:11 PM   #101
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

Is there any hope?
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Old 21st August 2013, 10:24 PM   #102
toellandback
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Re: Husband has left!

Yes.. but don't be a prisoner to it. You make me smile sometimes. There is a strength to you , look inside , find that strength. Your story , you , give me strength. Listen to Chosen and Raymond, they talk such gentle sense.
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Old 21st August 2013, 11:49 PM   #103
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Re: Husband has left!

Thank you. Yes they do! Knowing him like I know him..I think this is an act of fear and pressure. He has told me he wants to rush it as he will be in his parents lounge! That's his fault not mine! Be left, why should I rush it for him? It can't be rushed anyway! I've arranged to see him on the 5th and I will not contact him at all. Like you said if he really wants to do it he will do it anyway but it's just another case of him running, he wasn't happy at home with me, rather than talk he ran, he's not happy at his parents as he won't have a room, he wants to run again! If he thinks getting a place on his own will make him truly happy...I can see him realising the grass isn't greener, but he needs to realise that on his own!
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Old 22nd August 2013, 12:04 AM   #104
chosen
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Re: Husband has left!

Puglove, what grounds will he use for the divorce?I cant see that he has any legal grounds and so if you refuse to agree to a divorce, he will need to wait till you have been
apart for at least 2 years, maybe 5 if you still block it then.
He cant rush anything unless you let him. On the other hand, do you want to force a man to stay married to you against his will? You are young, no kids, and have plenty of time for a fresh start. Not easy I know, but isnt it better that it happen now than in 10 years time with children and far more to loose?
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Old 22nd August 2013, 07:42 AM   #105
Puglove
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Re: Husband has left!

To be honest.. If and when he puts his hand in his pocket to file for divorce I know he is serious he has no grounds! It is purely because he ran away when things got tough and is afraid to come back. I can hand on heart say I'm not dealing with the man I married. I'm dealing with a spoilt little boy who wants his own way. He told me yesterday this has been very upsetting for him...my reply was why? You chose to leave! You brought this on yourself! He refuses to accept that, all he seems to do is repeat the same things "it's your mums fault" "she took the dog lead off of me" "things won't change"
He seems to be playing the victim..the fact I lost my dad and struggled, then another family member then he chose to leave has all been forgotten. I think 99.9% of people considering all the effort I have put in would say "fair enough lets give it a go." But not him...the fact we are married seems to mean nothing.
He just wants his own way and right now he thinks that will make him happy
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