Re: Finding Harmony
Dear Valerie
It's perfectly true and reasonable to admit that nobody is perfect. However, the question I would put to myself is this:
If I had known about the internet porn and the other things I consider to be threats, would it materially have affected my decision to move in? If you feel that there is an element of deceit at this early stage, then it doesn't auger well for your future.
Personally, I wonder about the viability of a relationship when one person is already describing themselves as 'not the same laughing, charming educated woman anymore' and using phrases such as 'scar then for the rest of their lives'.
It would be best to talk through this with a professional, though - specifically someone with experience in bereavement counselling - as the events in your life may be throwing in extra twists to your decision making.
I take the liberty of quoting your advice to another correspondent:
"But if I could look into the future and make a wish, it would be to celebrate every holiday together, with pride for the rest of my life".
Can you do that with this man? If not, then it would be best to follow your own advice.
My warmest wishes to you.
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