Paranoia or not?
Hi all
I would like to get some thoughts on the state of my marriage from people to see if I am worrying about nothing or there is a real problem I need to address. Here's the situation;
I have been married for 14 years. During that time my partner and I have had the odd difficulty but nothing major. This year seems different though. At the start of the year I spiralled into a major depression episode, one so severe I was off work and at times felt like either killing myself or running away. The reason I didn't is because I didn't want to upset my wife or 10yr old son. At the beginning of this depression my wife was very supportive and caring, but as the months went on this started to wane. I ended up losing my job through redundancy and had to sign on JSA. Now though, I have a job and I am bringing in money again.
The issue I have in my marriage is this; my wife has for the last 7 months or so shown me little to no affection. She no longer kisses me on the lips. She turns her head so I have to peck her cheek. I cannot remember the last time she said 'I love you', as a response to me saying it to her (verbally and in text form), even though we used to say it every day. We haven't made love since March, with zero interest coming from her regarding doing so. During my period of depression I cannot recall a time she asked me to talk to her regarding my problems. All I seem to get is frustration that I haven't done things around the house in the time I was off. I understand she was juggling the financial impact of my being sick, and I understand it must have been irritating to come home and see I hadn't done much.
The other thing I have picked up on is her developing feelings for a work colleague. She has known him for a few years and has said before he is a close friend, but lately it seems she is giving him more affection. Whether or not this is down to him having to have a major operation is something I've debated in my head, but I'll confess that I have looked at the messages they send to each other (some of you may feel this is wrong but I did so because of my growing suspicions). Their texts are flirty in tone, and my wife has said things like 'I wish I could say more to you but I shouldn't'. She also bought him a gift before his operation which she didn't tell me about. Plus (and this may seem a minor point) she always finishes her texts to him with a number of 'x' symbols. I don't get any in my texts anymore.
So the question is this: should I be worried her love for me has gone? Or is it just a temporary phase? Please help me.
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