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Old 10th March 2016, 10:15 PM   #1
Goodlife1
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 4
Mother in law situation

Hello everyone! I hope its a great day for you all! I am here to seek advice regarding a mother in law situation. My husband wants to hire my mother in law as our domestic help and future nanny so that I can work full time and earn money to my full potential. Now, in the past my hubby has hired my mother in law as our personal grocery and household item shopper and paid her for her services & the cost of items purchased. This resulted in my mother in law feeling free to interfere in our day to day running of household, piling heaps of unsolicited advice on me and expecting me to comply on urgent basis, judging the ways we run our household or the items we use and how much we use, etc. All this with no regard to what other pressures I had in my life and their priority. Since I was the one at the receiving end of all this "advice" and judgement and not my husband in the least. When I tried to bring it up with my hubby, he was not receptive to hearing anything against his mother; it led to arguments between us and generally became a major source of stress in my life and in our relationship. Gradually, I managed to take the reigns of my household back into my own hands. But now he wants to hire her as domestic help.

In addition, I have seen her NOT WASH her hands multiple times, after handling her dog and other stuff and before touching food with those hands. This dog has never been dewormed, has never seen a vet in its life and is currently diseased. It is not a matter of dog. It is a matter of her sanitary habits (or lack of).

In nutshell, my concerns are:
1) Hiring mother in law as domestic help, would give her a free ticket to interfere in our household affairs, as she has done before.

2) I don't want a domestic help who wouldn't listen to what help I need out of her: It is a regular thing, that when I request something of her she ignores it, or pretends not to hear, or finds a way to evade it. But when my hubby repeats the same thing, BAM it gets done immediately.

3) I don't feel comfortable leaving my home and food prepartion to somebody with unsanitary habits

4) Even if I supervise her, it will be hard to correct her lack of sanitary habits cuz she is my mother in law, and culturally it is not my place to critique her.

5) It would be impossible to fire her without straining my relations with my husband or her.

So, please advise what can I do? How to make my hubby understand my concerns?

Thanks!
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