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Old 27th March 2009, 05:41 PM   #16
jahdog
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Re: Jahdog

hey y'all. stilll avoiding the legal do boy. they at least stopped calling. they email now. i was very curt in reply of stop bothering me NOW. they suggest that i call do boy. i replied that not gonna waste $ on the long distance and he can meet me at local gas station on my way to work at 1245 am. he is no show 2 nights in a row. sure they will come by the house at some point. gotta get up strength to accept and sign. all hope then gone. hopefully then move on to full on acceptance and healing. anyway, thanks to my little support group here. hope all you are doing ok and hanging in. this sh*t is rough. worst is fact that before the walkout this person was best friend, lover, trusted companion, etc, then BAM presto chango evil uncaring stranger with same face, voice, everything except love, caring and compasion. yes definatly make one feel like been living a big fat lie and kind of used. its like its some big joke or game to them. F-em all. i wonder how our spouses would have felt if at some point in past when all was well we just dropped this bomb on them. never know that. talk later. bye.
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Old 27th March 2009, 05:43 PM   #17
jahdog
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Re: Jahdog

hey y'all. stilll avoiding the legal do boy. they at least stopped calling. they email now. i was very curt in reply of stop bothering me NOW. they suggest that i call do boy. i replied that not gonna waste $ on the long distance and he can meet me at local gas station on my way to work at 1245 am. he is no show 2 nights in a row. sure they will come by the house at some point. gotta get up strength to accept and sign. all hope then gone. hopefully then move on to full on acceptance and healing. anyway, thanks to my little support group here. hope all you are doing ok and hanging in. this sh*t is rough. worst is fact that before the walkout this person was best friend, lover, trusted companion, etc, then BAM presto chango evil uncaring stranger with same face, voice, everything except love, caring and compasion. yes definatly make one feel like been living a big fat lie and kind of used. its like its some big joke or game to them. F-em all. i wonder how our spouses would have felt if at some point in past when all was well we just dropped this bomb on them. never know that. talk later. bye.
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Old 27th March 2009, 11:04 PM   #18
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

read this

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_get_over_your_ex

We'll find another best friend,lover, trusted companion. In fact. we'll find a much better one
:-)

I'm going to work really hard on trying to figure out if H really is a evil, selfish horror out to get me and throw me away with nothing or if he genuinely just wants out this relationship as fast as possible because he really is beginning to see me as a pest. If it's the latter I think i may be able to forgive and understand why I feel he is being horrible.

I think we need to try forgive before me move on somehow. Seems impossible but I don't want to hate him forever. don't want to be friends either, that's just weird.

I want to be able to pass him on the street and feel nothing. I don't ask much do I :-)
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Old 28th March 2009, 02:23 AM   #19
jahdog
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Re: Jahdog

yes indifferince will be a good goal. hate likily to come soon.
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Old 28th March 2009, 09:28 PM   #20
jahdog
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Re: Jahdog

my bit*h wife came here and took a lot of stuff while i was at work. my dog is injured more than ever and limping badly. sure from chaos of people moving stuff out. she took many thing that belonged to me. i hate her now. how can she be so evil. WTF
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Old 12th April 2009, 10:20 AM   #21
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

where art thou? How you getting on?
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Old 12th April 2009, 02:05 PM   #22
RayCub
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Re: Jahdog

Yeah...where are you??
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Old 12th April 2009, 02:49 PM   #23
jools
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Re: Jahdog

Quote:
I think we need to try forgive before me move on somehow. Seems impossible but I don't want to hate him forever. don't want to be friends either, that's just weird.

I want to be able to pass him on the street and feel nothing. I don't ask much do I :-)
Absolutely, JWD! But I think you're being hard on yourself to expect to be able to do that so soon. For me it's nearly 3 years and while I feel the indifference thing quite frequently, I am aware that the forgiveness part is hard. Not just for myself, but because he also threw my children's emotions into the air too. But like you, it's something I'm working on and I know eventually I'll get there - when my brain's ready. No matter how much we want to FF the healing process, our brains seem to do things in their own time. Though I'm sure that a positive attitude and an action plan help the process along. The other little snag about forgiveness is that I'll probably start to feel sorry for him and maybe I'm afraid of letting softer feelings for him sneak back in. Not that any part of me wants him back. But I suppose the whole thing about Easter is forgiveness - so yey you're right (she says after several tangents!)

Got my new bloke arriving in a while. Been seeing him for 18 months - but that's a whole other area where I start to analyse my feelings. Very compatible etc. but I find myself pulling back when he tries to get more serious. What the hell folks - we'll get there eventually. And if anyone discovers where "There" is - please let me know!!
Jools XXXX
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Old 12th April 2009, 05:56 PM   #24
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

I have been rushing it, in fact I don't think I've really reached the proper angry stage but i fast getting there. Having the lawyers letter arrive and the disgusting offer he made is is helping me get there too. I think my obsession about forgiving him is because I fear I'll torture myself about it until I do.

You promised me I'd feel better a few weeks ago and I didn't believe you but I do feel better re the pain of it as ist far less raw now so I'll trust that I can still move on without totally forgiving him yet just like you have :-)

I'm so pleased you have met someopne else. I too know I will mett plenty of other people and this time I'll not be so gullible and ready to please other people.

I spoke with my mum today and I said you didn't really like him did you and she told me she just knew he wasn't for me and that I hung on his every work and seemed to want to please him all the time. I think thats very true. She also thought he was controlling which I have never accused him of to her. She is the first person to say that she we were suited. everyone else has said how they thought we were perfect. I suppose because I was always doing things his way it did seem perfect.
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Old 12th April 2009, 05:58 PM   #25
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

also going out tonight with a friend so keeping an eye open for my gemini named david who is my future soul mate LOL, see I'm not so gulllible anymore hehe
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Old 12th April 2009, 06:07 PM   #26
RayCub
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Re: Jahdog

Gemini named David??? Where'd you find that little nugget of info???
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Old 12th April 2009, 06:17 PM   #27
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

went to see a psychic, she also said I was in a loving relationship LOL then obviously seen my face and decided I'd just come out of one. Was just for fun.
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Old 12th April 2009, 06:21 PM   #28
RayCub
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Re: Jahdog

cool.....i would love to see if romance is EVER instore for me again...sigh...
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Old 12th April 2009, 06:40 PM   #29
JWD
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Re: Jahdog

Course it is. Isn't it funny how we cnan't see ourselves as other do. I believe you'll be snapped up going on your personality alone. It's a new beginning and a new chance to make it work. I'm goinmg to give myself plenty of time to get to know the new me amd take it from there
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Old 12th April 2009, 06:50 PM   #30
RayCub
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Re: Jahdog

I know I have to give myself time to heal too; I'm just so impatient!!! My patience level for most things isn't very high, so for this, it's unbearable!! But, it'll be worth it in the long run, won't it?

At least I sure hope it will be!!!
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