The hot topic

[Hoodedjester]

Hi I have never had to post on a forum but things are getting out of control for me . My wife and I have not got on for years there are alot of insecuritys from my end and I am not sure if its me causing the problems or my wife not caring . As you know the sex life after marriage dwindles as has mine . She wont talk about sex she thinks its disgusting to talk or think about it . But she will gladly talk about it with her friends and share lengthy conversations about 50 shades if grey . I fear it is me that she doesnt want sex with and then leads me to believe she is has or would cheat. This is making it difficult for me to progress into the relationship because i fear it may be me that gets hurt. Every time we try to talk about it she hides away from the fact and says that im just paraniod but i dont believe i am . I just cant get my head around it . We have many heated debates about al lot of things and we can rarley get on . I can see the problems we have and would love to solve them but she just goes on saying theres nothing wrong and that i am making it all up in my head . I have no one else to talk to so a little advice would be very welcome.

Thank you

[chosen]

Well she is wrong because there clearly is a LOT a wrong here. For one spouse to refuse sex all the time is cruel, and its sad that she refuses to talk about such an important thing.

BTW sex doesnt need to dwindle after marriage.

I would suggest that you tell her how desperately unhappy you are, and suggest that if she wants the marriage to continue you need to both go to marriage counselling.

[Raymond]

I agree. She should be having sex with you as that is part of marriage unless you both didn't want it of course. She is clearly interested in sex, even maybe in the wrong way. Perhaps you can ask her what part of sex she finds disgusting? These things clearly need to be talked about and adjustments made if necessary as it is an extremely important subject in marriage. As Chosen says sex never needs to dwindle in marriage but it needs to be discussed from time to time as both of you are changing.