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Old 14th October 2014, 11:51 PM   #61
neil123
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 32
Re: Wife leaving me

Hey Ralf, am no expert mate but picked up on the fact that you said...
"cant remember the last time I felt happy or laughed about anything".

That to me says a lot! Maybe worth thinking about?!?! I certainly did!!

Cheers Neil
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Old 15th October 2014, 10:22 AM   #62
ralfgarnett
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
Re: Wife leaving me

Hi Neil I mean since this all blew up, we were laughing the night before she left as we were watching Germany stuff Brazil and we like Germany, we also had a penalty competition with a ping pong ball in the living room at half time that was a good laugh to, but I haven't smiled or laughed hardly since she left, before that I used to smile everytime I thought about her and our life together now I don't care if I live or die, I see little or no point carrying on, I have been getting chest pains of late but I don't care if god takes me naturally then at least the worrying will stop.
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Old 15th October 2014, 11:55 AM   #63
neil123
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 32
Re: Wife leaving me

Hmmm that's not a good place to be... anxiety attacks are a thing of the past for me.

Don't really know what to say.... Have a read of that 180 text. It helped me a lot.

Hope you get there!!
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Old 22nd October 2014, 08:42 AM   #64
davidhan
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Posts: n/a
Re: Wife leaving me

Yes, I will have the kids 2 times during the week and one day / night at the weekend. I don't think we will get a divorce until the 2 year timeframe. Well that was the plan anyway..

So, here-endeth the story.

Thanks for all the comments and support over the last few weeks. Time for a new start... Its gonna be tough.
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Old 18th May 2015, 02:24 PM   #65
neil123
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 32
Re: Wife leaving me

Hey everyone - how is yawl?
Thought Id give you an update as to what's happening in my life now!

Well its almost 11 months since my wife said she was leaving, and what a strange year it has been. And my god its gone quick..

So life is very good. Had some ups and downs, but mainly ups. Just had a look at some of my earlier posts and did not realised how depressed I was with our relationship.
It was unhealthy.

I have since met a stunning woman... absolutely beautiful, sweet, caring and kind with striking blonde hair. Also a little bit nuts. She is the exact opposite to my ex-wife.
I met her actually in December, by pure chance. I thought she was gorgeous so went over to talk to her... it kinda exploded from there. We've had our fair share of ding dongs...
(but that's bound to happen with all the residual bad feeling you can negatively hold on to after being told you're not loved anymore).
But things are good. The kids love her and likewise and we learn more about each other everyday.

Me and my ex-wife get on well. She is a good friend... and I want to keep that, not just for the kids but also for us. She has a new fellow. Seems like a good guy and the kids like him a lot.
Not met him yet but Im sure I will at some point. TBH, I'm not that bothered, or really that interested in my ex's life. But Im pleased for her.


I would like to share with you how I got to this stage....

June 20th - Was told she didnt love me anymore. Head in bits.. lost, confused, hurt, shocked... we all know the emotions..
Joined this forum and saw a counsellor... Just talked and talked until I ran out of things to say!
July 21st - moved into a 3 bed terrace... I was a domestic disaster zone, I even ate a curry I dropped on the floor, off the floor. Very bad time for me.
August 10th - took the kids on holiday to the lakes. We had booked it as a family, but I took the first week and my ex, the second. Very hard... couldnt get out of bed... drinking far too heavily. So sad.
September - had multiple text conversations with her, trying to get my head round how, what and why.. Joined an online meetup group (meetup.com). Great site with friendly people who are going through a similar thing (90% were separated). Started to dust myself off.
October - settling in to the house... started to meet lots of people in my new local. Started to lose weight and take pride in my appearance again. Bought some new clothes and changed the way i looked.. Realisation that Im not going to get her back.
November - Started Salsa dancing. Met a ton of new people. Starting to feel very happy about my situation. Independent again... enjoying being a proper father (solely responsible)... Feeling closer to the kids.
December - met my girlfriend. Xmas was quite tough. I had them for 3 hours then took them home.
January - Time to start properly moving on. She meets her new fellow.
Febuary - House sold and funds divided. Went away for a romantic weekend to a very nice hotel. V expensive but v nice.
March - Divorce proceedings started. My self and ex starting to build a new relationship.
April - My ex is gone from my mind.
May - I write this!!

The key is to keep yourself busy... If you start to think about how worthless your life is without your ex, then it will be.
I have fought and tried my damnedest to move on with life... Initially it was so I could get her back... but it never happened.
I see now that she is not what I want out of a relationship. This time last year I was a month of my life changing forever. And Im so glad it has.

The Decree absolute should be with us in 4 weeks time...

Just want to say thankyou so much to this forum and the wonderful people that listened to me in my darkest hour... Raymond, Chosen and Ronnocco in particular...

Remember, after pain comes relief... I just analysed our relationship none stop and kept busy.. Even the kids jokingly say that they couldn't imagine us together now... Would be very alien...



Neil
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Old 18th May 2015, 04:00 PM   #66
Lindentree1
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,253
Re: Wife leaving me

"After pain comes relief." I hope so. Your story is inspiring and I'm glad everything worked out for you.

I know time frames are different for everyone but I do hope that eventually all of us that need it will get to a good place on this board.
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Old 18th May 2015, 04:52 PM   #67
neil123
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 32
Re: Wife leaving me

Hi there. Trust me it really does.
But you've got to want to change. It won't present its self to you.
You've got to get out there and grab life by the balls!! Excuse my language.

Someone posted a link on one of my posts about doing a 180 or something... Can't quite remember now. But my word it was a good article. It's a win win situation. It provides steps to perhaps getting ur partner back... And that's all I wanted at the time... But by following the steps you are unwittingly fixing urself... Preparing ur self for ur next partner...

Am not sure if ur story... But I know what ur going through and it ain't nice... But once you get out of this horrible place you will think "thank god I'm not with them now"...

I promise you ��������
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Old 19th May 2015, 09:07 PM   #68
cherrybomb
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 18
Re: Wife leaving me

Neil wow so happy for you iv read the things you have overcome over these recent months and look at you now ..a massive well done to you ...it sounds as tho you truly deserve some happiness in your life I hope you find someone as equally nice as yourself ..and live a happily ever after...good look for the future x
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