Re: Wife leaving me
Hey everyone - how is yawl?
Thought Id give you an update as to what's happening in my life now!
Well its almost 11 months since my wife said she was leaving, and what a strange year it has been. And my god its gone quick..
So life is very good. Had some ups and downs, but mainly ups. Just had a look at some of my earlier posts and did not realised how depressed I was with our relationship.
It was unhealthy.
I have since met a stunning woman... absolutely beautiful, sweet, caring and kind with striking blonde hair. Also a little bit nuts. She is the exact opposite to my ex-wife.
I met her actually in December, by pure chance. I thought she was gorgeous so went over to talk to her... it kinda exploded from there. We've had our fair share of ding dongs...
(but that's bound to happen with all the residual bad feeling you can negatively hold on to after being told you're not loved anymore).
But things are good. The kids love her and likewise and we learn more about each other everyday.
Me and my ex-wife get on well. She is a good friend... and I want to keep that, not just for the kids but also for us. She has a new fellow. Seems like a good guy and the kids like him a lot.
Not met him yet but Im sure I will at some point. TBH, I'm not that bothered, or really that interested in my ex's life. But Im pleased for her.
I would like to share with you how I got to this stage....
June 20th - Was told she didnt love me anymore. Head in bits.. lost, confused, hurt, shocked... we all know the emotions..
Joined this forum and saw a counsellor... Just talked and talked until I ran out of things to say!
July 21st - moved into a 3 bed terrace... I was a domestic disaster zone, I even ate a curry I dropped on the floor, off the floor. Very bad time for me.
August 10th - took the kids on holiday to the lakes. We had booked it as a family, but I took the first week and my ex, the second. Very hard... couldnt get out of bed... drinking far too heavily. So sad.
September - had multiple text conversations with her, trying to get my head round how, what and why.. Joined an online meetup group (meetup.com). Great site with friendly people who are going through a similar thing (90% were separated). Started to dust myself off.
October - settling in to the house... started to meet lots of people in my new local. Started to lose weight and take pride in my appearance again. Bought some new clothes and changed the way i looked.. Realisation that Im not going to get her back.
November - Started Salsa dancing. Met a ton of new people. Starting to feel very happy about my situation. Independent again... enjoying being a proper father (solely responsible)... Feeling closer to the kids.
December - met my girlfriend. Xmas was quite tough. I had them for 3 hours then took them home.
January - Time to start properly moving on. She meets her new fellow.
Febuary - House sold and funds divided. Went away for a romantic weekend to a very nice hotel. V expensive but v nice.
March - Divorce proceedings started. My self and ex starting to build a new relationship.
April - My ex is gone from my mind.
May - I write this!!
The key is to keep yourself busy... If you start to think about how worthless your life is without your ex, then it will be.
I have fought and tried my damnedest to move on with life... Initially it was so I could get her back... but it never happened.
I see now that she is not what I want out of a relationship. This time last year I was a month of my life changing forever. And Im so glad it has.
The Decree absolute should be with us in 4 weeks time...
Just want to say thankyou so much to this forum and the wonderful people that listened to me in my darkest hour... Raymond, Chosen and Ronnocco in particular...
Remember, after pain comes relief... I just analysed our relationship none stop and kept busy.. Even the kids jokingly say that they couldn't imagine us together now... Would be very alien...
Neil
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