Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Old 8th April 2015, 08:00 AM   #1
Sam85
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Unhappy is my partner is cheating

my partner work as oil n gas engineer need him sometimes visiting karaoke and bars with friends. and i know as i also work in the same industry, mostly these guys went out for karaoke and you know these karaoke having the KTV girls. and i always say he is okay to have girl as friends while drinking as long as never lied to me.

as of now, he is in China, Guangzhou to be exact, work for a project, and he is back hometown n spend few days with me. so in front of him, im checking his phone, and saw at "recommend friends" there a Chinese girl. as "added", from Guangzhou, so i ask him, who is she? he said, he dont know? thn i ask, who add her if you dont know?

then he still denying.

so i msg that women myself, pretend to be him, she answered, you add me, you know that.

my picture inside your phone.

so i know this girl have met him, and im burst off. he lying and having that girl while having fun.

we have the big fight and he said, he have done nothing with her and never bring her home.

i know him n i know some of his friends, i know he would not sleeping with her, he never did, even before meeting me. he play around n talk a lil bit, maybe hold her a bit. not sex. i don't know about kisses.

i don't know about a lot of thing. i confuse, betrayed and in a lot of pain.

honestly, i am only 40% okay with him having that girl, touching him and so on.. its painful to have that kind of imagination in my mind, and +, i have seen her picture from the picture profile. she fair n slim, like most Chinese girl..

im confuse, from doesn't want controlling him having fun between the pain that i feels..

i need help, am i overeating? should i forgive him? how for me to trust him again?
should i walk away?

he is the love of my life, if he really want me and ask for forgiveness, i might stay instead let that women won, break us apart..

help me
i need advise from guys n women..
  Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 08:40 AM   #2
sambrooklands
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 55
Re: is my partner is cheating

Very hard to say to be honest. There is without a doubt something he is holding back from you and not being 100% truthful about. I would suggest you work on him over the coming days and try to piece together a fuller picture. Do not do anything hasty at this early stage.
sambrooklands is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 09:07 AM   #3
Sam85
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: is my partner is cheating

he said he wont tell me cause i will act unreasonably.. like cry my heart out.. when since past times, this only happened when keep on lying to me..

how to start clear when he keep doing this? how to trust a person like this?

all these times, i only will be pissed off when he hide something from me. its hurtful.
  Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 09:08 AM   #4
Sam85
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: is my partner is cheating

i just take thats how guys playing blaming games when he get caught on something.

i dont know. i feel miserable
  Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 11:05 AM   #5
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: is my partner is cheating

he is the love of my life, if he really want me and ask for forgiveness, i might stay instead let that women won, break us apart..

I agree. It's no marriage if he is going around with other women. You say he wouldn't have sex with anyone so that is a plus. Nevertheless this flirting and cavorting isn't helpful. You are either the love of his life or you are not. If you are he needs to stop this and ask for your forgiveness. If you are not then the marriage is going nowhere.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 06:18 PM   #6
notDoneYet
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
Re: is my partner is cheating

Where has he added her as a friend? Is this on facebook or something? I have plenty of female friends on FB and none of them are anything more than just friends. Do you have any other reason to be suspicious? Why did you feel the need to go through his phone? Did he volunteer his phone or were you snooping?
notDoneYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 07:24 PM   #7
Lindentree1
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,253
Re: is my partner is cheating

If he's lying to you, you definitely need to talk to him. I wonder why you are looking through his phone. Do you already not trust him? Has he given you prior reason?
Lindentree1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2015, 10:06 PM   #8
notDoneYet
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
Re: is my partner is cheating

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1 View Post
If he's lying to you, you definitely need to talk to him. I wonder why you are looking through his phone. Do you already not trust him? Has he given you prior reason?
Yea. Couldn't have said it better. LDT is right. Look, these questions are being asked so that we better understand your sitch.
notDoneYet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th April 2015, 02:46 AM   #9
Sam85
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Unhappy Re: is my partner is cheating

guys, thanks for the reply.

first of all, he is not perfect man, yea, he lied previously. i consider as flirting. he consider as normal friend. while he hide from me.

i'm not snooping. i look at his phone in front of him, ask for his permission.

"Nevertheless this flirting and cavorting isn't helpful. You are either the love of his life or you are not. If you are he needs to stop this and ask for your forgiveness. If you are not then the marriage is going nowhere."

he says he love me, no doubt. and he is angry ive keep saying it over n over again. cause i didnt feel it anymore, i guessed.

i think we're broken, but i still holding on and try to save us. but i dnt know about him, is he really serious in saving us...

you guys think i should let go?
  Reply With Quote
Old 9th April 2015, 02:48 AM   #10
Sam85
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: is my partner is cheating

"Where has he added her as a friend? Is this on facebook or something? I have plenty of female friends on FB and none of them are anything more than just friends. Do you have any other reason to be suspicious? Why did you feel the need to go through his phone? Did he volunteer his phone or were you snooping?"

its in his weechat friend list. i suspicious because that girl is from same place he work, and he always says he never have any girlfriends there. why lie? y hiding?
  Reply With Quote
Old 9th April 2015, 08:53 PM   #11
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: is my partner is cheating

Commitment and faithfulness are paramount in a marriage. What does he want his cake and also to eat it? Sounds to me that he doesn't value his marriage.

Did you not text his female contact and get a reply which shows that he put her on his phone?

While this goes on there will never be peace in the marriage.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:19 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer