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23rd April 2015, 06:10 PM
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#586
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1
Are you going to verbalize the boundaries? Like sit her down and say "these are the boundaries?"
Or is it more of a leading by example thing?
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Very much a sit down and here are my boundaries. Trust me, this could be the biggest cake eating exercise in history if I'm not clear on behaviour I will and won't put up with. Remember, boundaries are about how you expect to be treated. Nothing to do with controlling the other person.
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23rd April 2015, 07:26 PM
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#587
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
Very much a sit down and here are my boundaries. Trust me, this could be the biggest cake eating exercise in history if I'm not clear on behaviour I will and won't put up with. Remember, boundaries are about how you expect to be treated. Nothing to do with controlling the other person.
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Do you know what your boundaries are yet ?, will you be in the spare room or bunking up with WW ?, that's not as crazy as it sounds I have a mate whose partner is going to be leaving him and they still share a bed, no nooky though but they do bunk up together, I don't understand that even me whose head doesn't work sometimes even I think that's odd but each to there own I suppose.
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23rd April 2015, 07:31 PM
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#588
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett
Do you know what your boundaries are yet ?, will you be in the spare room or bunking up with WW ?, that's not as crazy as it sounds I have a mate whose partner is going to be leaving him and they still share a bed, no nooky though but they do bunk up together, I don't understand that even me whose head doesn't work sometimes even I think that's odd but each to there own I suppose.
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Baby steps. First, I'm not going to be her on call baby sitter while she carries on with her A. Not going to happen. Second, I don't want her communicating with OM while I'm there. Take it elswhere. Sleeping arrangements? Well, that's going to be fun. I'm going to my own bed even if I need to lay down at 9pm to do so. She can sleep elsewhere. But remember she doesn't need to respect these boundaries. That's her choice.
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24th April 2015, 01:52 AM
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#589
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
I think you are doing the right thing by setting out clear boundaries from the start.
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24th April 2015, 10:27 AM
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#590
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Hey mate I think your positivity is rubbing off on me, just dropped a big order one of the biggest since I started the business and with an ever bigger one on ice waiting to drop, do you know how I got that and the potential of the other one ?, through you, do you remember when you said "try something different" ? well I did with both these clients and I owe this result to you, your words were in my head when I was negotiating with the clients, thanks NDY when you said that you reminded me of something I should of already known remember I commented on that ?, so thanks mate so much you have inspired me and coached me in to this, living alone I need as much money as I can to keep things going, so thanks I at least owe you a pint at least, well that's an early Friday finish for me think I might go for a pint and a hot meat pie to celebrate.
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24th April 2015, 11:26 AM
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#591
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett
Hey mate I think your positivity is rubbing off on me, just dropped a big order one of the biggest since I started the business and with an ever bigger one on ice waiting to drop, do you know how I got that and the potential of the other one ?, through you, do you remember when you said "try something different" ? well I did with both these clients and I owe this result to you, your words were in my head when I was negotiating with the clients, thanks NDY when you said that you reminded me of something I should of already known remember I commented on that ?, so thanks mate so much you have inspired me and coached me in to this, living alone I need as much money as I can to keep things going, so thanks I at least owe you a pint at least, well that's an early Friday finish for me think I might go for a pint and a hot meat pie to celebrate.
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That is bloody brilliant mate. Well done you. I'm glad I inspired you. That's a pint in the tap for me then. Superb. I think we are all going to have a good weekend.
That cheered me up no end. It really did.
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26th April 2015, 08:02 PM
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#592
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
So the meet is done. It went not too bad. But of a spew fest but I can handle it. Kept my cool and laid down the boundaries. She's fizzing but I'm ok with that. So this is going to be a fun ride. Watch this space.
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26th April 2015, 08:34 PM
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#593
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
So the meet is done. It went not too bad. But of a spew fest but I can handle it. Kept my cool and laid down the boundaries. She's fizzing but I'm ok with that. So this is going to be a fun ride. Watch this space.
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When are you moving in?
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26th April 2015, 08:37 PM
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#594
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1
When are you moving in?
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V soon, next few days and it'll be sorted.
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26th April 2015, 08:54 PM
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#595
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
V soon, next few days and it'll be sorted.
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I'll bet S9 is happy you're coming home.
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26th April 2015, 08:56 PM
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#596
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindentree1
I'll bet S9 is happy you're coming home.
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Yea. But I'd have preferred it he danced around the room shouting yehaaaaaaa
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27th April 2015, 05:32 AM
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#597
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
So the meet is done. It went not too bad. But of a spew fest but I can handle it. Kept my cool and laid down the boundaries. She's fizzing but I'm ok with that. So this is going to be a fun ride. Watch this space.
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what do you mean by a spew fest?
Good that you are taking control. Be strong
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27th April 2015, 09:29 AM
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#598
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
So the meet is done. It went not too bad. But of a spew fest but I can handle it. Kept my cool and laid down the boundaries. She's fizzing but I'm ok with that. So this is going to be a fun ride. Watch this space.
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I'm intrigued if it's not too personal please could I enquire what the boundaries ?
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27th April 2015, 09:42 AM
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#599
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,297
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett
I'm intrigued if it's not too personal please could I enquire what the boundaries ?
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I will not enable her affair. Simple. So if she wants to go out with OM she's to assume I'm busy and not around to look after S9. And she's to leave my bed.
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27th April 2015, 10:21 AM
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#600
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,076
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Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by notDoneYet
I will not enable her affair. Simple. So if she wants to go out with OM she's to assume I'm busy and not around to look after S9. And she's to leave my bed.
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Wise words that demonstrate a lot of strength, I presume that she will be moving in to the spare bedroom then ?, a mate of mine and his partner are going to be splitting up in September and they still sometimes share a bed, no nooky though, I couldn't do that it just doesn't seem right to me, especially as she has now admitted to an emotional interest in another man in the country she is moving to and he is telling people they are getting married, cheeky disrespectful cow I would give her the honour of the Spanish archer (El-Bow).
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