She's built up a barrier

My last post I explained about my wife having an affair.
She came round after work last night and my wife my daughter and myself went out for tea. Her idea. My daughter is staying for a couple of weeks with me.
She seemed so distant and wouldn't go near me. When I said I love her she just gave me an unimpressed look.
Today my daughter and me met her for lunch on her break and still felt distant. I attempted to brush a bug that had landed on her but she just pulled away as though I had a disease or something.
I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do.
I messaged her asking if she wanted to come round for tea tomorrow as she told my daughter that she might see her tomorrow. But I've been ignored. It's so frustrating.
I have no idea where I stand or what I'm meant to do.

[chosen]

I cant really add to what I said before. Either she gives up the OM and works on the marriage, or you need to cut off the contact with her. No more meeting up for tea or whatever and enable her to see what it will be like as a single person.

I've told her I'm willing to do what it takes but it has to work both ways. I'm not being treated like this and if she's not prepared to then stop contacting me. Feel better now I've done that

[chosen]

Good for you. You will need to be firm on that. If she gives the OM up and is prepared to work on the marriage she knows where you are. Dont contact her either unless its absolutely necessary. You only need to see her when you collect or bring back your daughter.

[Raymond]

It is strange and confusing as she is the one who has comitted adultery and it should be you who should be saying don't touch me after what she has done to you. I think until she is really sorry and showing some fruit from it not just words how can you receive her? Something has to happen in her before that I think, otherwise you could become a doormat. I agree with Chosen. Don't receive her until she has got right about everything.

I would speak to someone else at the Sports Centre as well, perhaps the manager. It is despicable behaviour by one of their employees. If they won't listen go to their employer. There ought to be a code of conduct for these workers.

I actually spoke to the regional manager who reported it to his manager but they weren't interested.
Apparently because she wasn't his client there is nothing that they will do. I was shocked that they actually accept this kind of unprofessional conduct from their staff especially being a large company.
I even told them that the branch manager actually threatened me.

[Raymond]

That's awful but you have tried your best and need to put it behind you now, otherwise it will bog you down.

It must be very painful for you with your wife being sorry whilst she is sticking the knife into you. That isn't real repentance or sorrow. Real repentance is a change of mind.

I wouldn't receive her until she ends it and is sorry. It doesn't help to give her any sympathy in this type of scenario. You have to be a little harder to make it happen if she really wants that. Sometimes love has to be tough. She cannot have her cake and eat it. I would be firm and not be friendly to her while this is going on. Your marriage needs a new start not for her just to drift back out of adultery back into marriage in my opinion.

I still think that it is awful that he visits your house. Can't you do anything to stop him? Doing it in your own home is unbelievable.