Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  

Go Back   2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums > Advice > Marriage Help

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th October 2010, 10:16 AM   #1
lonelyD
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Loveless marriage without children

I met my wife while on holiday in Brazil. We had a very short (4 months) long-distance relationship then we decided to get married. My motivation to get married after such a short time was largely due to the distance and the fact I was very lonely and feeling my life was passing by. I realised almost immediately after we had spent any significant time together that I didn't know the real person. I soon realised I didn't like her personality or qualities and realised it was just infatuation and I didn't lover her at all. I was honest and open with her about my feelings from the time I started to have difficulty with how I was feeling. It's been five years now and I just feel completely hollow and having physical relations doesn't feel at all natural and feels burdensome as there is really no passion or love felt. She wants to stay in the relationship and is pressuring me more and more to have children. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm staying in this because of religious principles, but I feel so hollow and alone being with someone I don't even particularly like, never mind love.

What do I do in such a situation?
lonelyD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2010, 11:39 AM   #2
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Loveless marriage without children

I think you should learn to love her. She has taken you at your word and committed her life to you. Otherwise you will be in a position of using her, marrying her and dumping her. If she measured up to your infatuation then she should be worth your commitment which is what marriage is. I don't think there is an honourable way out if she is faithful. I think you have a chance of learning what true love is and you owe it to her don't you think?
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th October 2010, 11:15 PM   #3
jools
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 570
Re: Loveless marriage without children

My opinion is that you've already wasted 5 years of yours and her time. I don't think you can "learn" to love someone - especially when you don't even "like" them. The most dishonourable thing to do now would be to waste more of her life on a marriage that is going nowhere. For heaven's sake do NOT have children with her because then you will be creating a broken family if you separate further down the line - along with all the heartache if she takes the children back to her home country. Get out NOW! (While apologising profusely to her)
Jools
jools is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:57 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer