The rolling waves again and again when will it end?

[ralfgarnett]

Thanks Chosen I will deffintely do that if it happens again, I tried it a few months ago when you first suggested it but it didn't seem to do anything for me, maybe I should practice it when I am not having a p/a, thanks again for being so caring xx

[chosen]

You may need to breathe in and out several times.

[ralfgarnett]

Hi Chosen at last a decent nights sleep which in turn has made me feel a bit lighter today, the tablets my GP gave me must of worked as I slep right through apart from waking at around 5am, I thought oh no here we go again, I reached for the paper bag but nothing I just went off again, so thanks for all your help and advice I hope I don't need to use it but its there just in case, I practiced before bedtime and it made me feel drowsy so maybe I should do a bit of breathing before going to bed anyway.

[chosen]

That good ralf, a good nights sleep does make you feel better.

[ralfgarnett]

I was doing ok then 5-30 I just broke down in tears and sobbed for about 15 minutes, I was thinking that she did nothing at all to try to save our marriage and I mean nothing, how can someone just do that ?, I am thinking about asking her why she did nothing that has had such an impact on my life how dare she do that, what do any of you think should I ask ?.

[notDoneYet]

Hi ralf. No. Don't ask. Your just pushing her away. Question, how did she drop the bomb?

[ralfgarnett]

Hello NDY this will tell you all you need http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=8904

[notDoneYet]

Ralf. Start here
http://divorcebusting.com/a_walkaway_wife.htm
This is what is going on with her. She didn't arrive at this easily mate. Look, we've both messed up here. We weren't meeting our wife's emotional needs. And trust me, sex is important. Really important. I ignored that too to my pearl. If you want a bit of a deeper understanding try reading "I love you but I'm not in love with you" by Andrew G Marshall. It's designed for couples trying to save their relationship but I'm reading it alone as the walk away wife isn't interested but it will help you gain insight as to why you are in this place.

I've read some of your threads, and you need to get healthy mate. Your emotional stability is important. Until you start healing yourself how on earth can you heal your marriage? I know you're going to counceling and your GP which is good but you need to get out of the thought trap. You're going around in circles. So, you need to start with you. And do you know what? If it doesn't work out with your wife you will still feel much better. There is still a lot of good living out there for you if you can just clear the fog.
Peace mate.

[notDoneYet]

Also, this was just linked to my facebook page.
http://www.justiceschanfarber.com/ma...n-leave-cheat/

[chosen]

I dont believe that all women leave because of this. There are many reasons why people leave. My husbands ex said that he wasnt meeting her 'emotional needs', yet the very same man(albeit a much happier one) and I, have been very happily married for 10 years this year and I never feel that. Sometimes we just dont appreciate what we have and the treasure that is ours, and no one person is supposed to meet all of our needs anyway. Some people are never content whatever they have.

[notDoneYet]

Originally Posted by chosen

I dont believe that all women leave because of this. There are many reasons why people leave. My husbands ex said that he wasnt meeting her 'emotional needs', yet the very same man(albeit a much happier one) and I, have been very happily married for 10 years this year and I never feel that. Sometimes we just dont appreciate what we have and the treasure that is ours, and no one person is supposed to meet all of our needs anyway. Some people are never content whatever they have.

Morning chosen. I agree. I only specifically pointed this out as Ralf mentioned it in his original post.

[ralfgarnett]

Hello all, my wife didn't ever nag me or fall out with me, we had a nice caring peacefull life together, I wish she had nagged me and said things about not being happy because had she told me she wasn't happy it would of gone on like a red light in my head and I would of done everything in my power to put things right for her, I didn't want to lose her I married her because I loved her and wanted to be with her for life still do I guess, your right though about me getting well as I am in no fit state to be in a relationship with anyone maybe not even my wife right now and that scares me .

[notDoneYet]

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

Hello all, my wife didn't ever nag me or fall out with me, we had a nice caring peacefull life together, I wish she had nagged me and said things about not being happy because had she told me she wasn't happy it would of gone on like a red light in my head and I would of done everything in my power to put things right for her, I didn't want to lose her I married her because I loved her and wanted to be with her for life still do I guess, your right though about me getting well as I am in no fit state to be in a relationship with anyone maybe not even my wife right now and that scares me .

I never got that conversation either. That's why it was such a shock when she dropped the bomb. Everyone, including me thought we were the perfect couple. Many were jealous of us if I'm honest. I thought I was the luckiest man on earth. Just goes to show though, you can't take anything for granted and I believe that was my big mistake and by God I'm paying for it now. But yes, get healthy. That's a good place to start.

[ralfgarnett]

Hi NDY I still keep getting the urge to email her my undying love and to tell her that never once in our time together did I ever take her for granted or stop loving her not one bit not ever, not sure though after 7 months what if any difference it would make, I told her all this after the bomb dropped, but before that I told her every single day that I loved her without fail, we always kissed goodnight and held hands in bed all that kind of thing, I think my wife is lost and she lost herself along the way, I just wish it was Janury 2014 and I know what I know now easy to say I suppose, where can I read your story I will read it tonight ?, also do you think it possible to win back a spouse after being apart these months ?, this November would see us together 20 years can this mean anything to her ?.

[ralfgarnett]

i don't know whats up with me here I go again wave after wave please dear god make it all end I don't want to suffer or know anything about it I just need it to be over im so tired