Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed - Page 87 - 2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums

ralfgarnett · 22nd May 2015, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notDoneYet

Cool as fonzie and give NOTHING away.
Actually, picking up the cats would be a good idea. Change a few things in the house (new curtains, replace a few photos) and have the house brochures hidden in plain sight. What do you think?

As we know I don't do fonzie. I do cool britania , she cant pick up my babies as she has no way of keeping them safe indoors where she is, already got new curtain and old wedding photo all replaced with Maltese water coours, my wee friend is coning down soon we found out that a mutual ffreind of ours died yesterday she feels as upset as I do.

Lindentree1 · 22nd May 2015, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

As we know I don't do fonzie. I do cool britania , she cant pick up my babies as she has no way of keeping them safe indoors where she is, already got new curtain and old wedding photo all replaced with Maltese water coours, my wee friend is coning down soon we found out that a mutual ffreind of ours died yesterday she feels as upset as I do.

I'm so sorry your friend died, Ralf.

Lindentree1 · 22nd May 2015, 08:05 PM

Feel silly writing about this since you lost a friend, and you don't have to answer this now, but I don't know how your plan with NDY will work. If she can't have the keys to your house, and she can't watch the cats where she is, how are you going to use the cats as an excuse to see her if you are going somewhere? It doesn't make sense to me.

ralfgarnett · 22nd May 2015, 08:55 PM

Very tired will explain tomorrow.

ralfgarnett · 23rd May 2015, 02:05 PM

Hi LDT, as it stands and as I currently perceive it I am going to tell her I'm going away for the weekend and my neighbour can't look after them so I need her to do it and I might yet drop in why I'm going away, and I am going to lead her right up to maybe the day before I am due to go and tell her last minute that I don't now need her to do it as I have found another alternative baby sitter and she is surplus to requirements, so she gets the message but doesn't get to come in the house, it's a fairly cunning plan and possibly needs a few tweaks here and there but I will perfect it closer to the time, don't forget it's all part of an elaborate ruse so it needs to run like clockwork.

ralfgarnett · 23rd May 2015, 04:19 PM

Just been talking to an old pal of mine in Malta he is trying to tempt me in to selling up and going over, he speaks little English I genuinely surprised myself how fluent I still am in Maltese, time to get my thinking cap on I think here vs Malta ? no contest in principle.

notDoneYet · 23rd May 2015, 04:31 PM

Why don't you go there for a short trip? You love the place and your old pal NDY can come visit if you decide to move.

ralfgarnett · 23rd May 2015, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notDoneYet

Why don't you go there for a short trip? You love the place and your old pal NDY can come visit if you decide to move.

Not sure, it would mean having to eat great food, drink great wine, be surrounded by some of the most beautiful women on the planet and great and beautifull historical places, oh and its just strating summer over there, I could see all my old pals and maybe bury a few ghosts while im at it

notDoneYet · 23rd May 2015, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

Not sure, it would mean having to eat great food, drink great wine, be surrounded by the fiittest birds on the planet and great and beautifull historical places, oh and its just strating summer over there, I could see all my old pals and maybe bury a few ghosts while im at it

Nah, that sounds like a really rubbish idea. Why don't you stay in a grim northern English town with crap weather and deep fried food feeling lonely and miserable all the time. That's what I would do.

Lindentree1 · 23rd May 2015, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

Not sure, it would mean having to eat great food, drink great wine, be surrounded by the fiittest birds on the planet and great and beautifull historical places, oh and its just strating summer over there, I could see all my old pals and maybe bury a few ghosts while im at it

I think a trip is a fabulous idea. But I'm going to be frank here--even if moving would be a good idea, I can't see you moving to Malta while still married. It does not seem like something you would do. I could be wrong, but...

Lindentree1 · 23rd May 2015, 07:28 PM

I hope you're not offended, Ralf. I have no opinion either way--no judgement here. I just had a hard time seeing you moving away when I know how much you want things to work out. But who knows what the future holds? Things change all the time.

ralfgarnett · 23rd May 2015, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindentree1

I think a trip is a fabulous idea. But I'm going to be frank here--even if moving would be a good idea, I can't see you moving to Malta while still married. It does not seem like something you would do. I could be wrong, but...

"I could be wrong, but..." your correct its not going to happen, I have been fantasising about heating up a knife, a very sharp kitchen knife which I have loads of and running it across my wrists and just going in to an eternal sleep, what a lovely thought. time to change the channel.

chosen · 23rd May 2015, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

Not sure, it would mean having to eat great food, drink great wine, be surrounded by the fiittest birds on the planet and great and beautifull historical places, oh and its just strating summer over there, I could see all my old pals and maybe bury a few ghosts while im at it

Well why not, you hate it here and seem to love it there. Not sure why you live here, I would hate to live somewhere I hated. I am fortunate because I love England, we have so very much to be thankful for here. If I didnt I would move away.

You could always rent your house for a year and rent a place there as well. However, you need to be able to earn a living and many such nice holiday type places have few such opportunities. Or maybe go for a month or so and see what you think. Have to say though that living somewhere all the time is is vastly different from visiting for a holiday for 2 weeks. Many have found that out to their cost, so a trial would be sensible before selling up.

Dont agree re the women thing, we have some lovely women here, but we are all different. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say.

chosen · 23rd May 2015, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

"I could be wrong, but..." your correct its not going to happen, I have been fantasising about heating up a knife, a very sharp kitchen knife which I have loads of and running it across my wrists and just going in to an eternal sleep, what a lovely thought. time to change the channel.

ralf you know you wont do it, you are far better than you were, we can all see that. You have come on a lot recently. and are beginning to accept that it may be over, and talking about a future.

Lindentree1 · 23rd May 2015, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ralfgarnett

"I could be wrong, but..." your correct its not going to happen, I have been fantasising about heating up a knife, a very sharp kitchen knife which I have loads of and running it across my wrists and just going in to an eternal sleep, what a lovely thought. time to change the channel.

Yes, please get those scary thoughts out of your head.

And please talk to someone if you need to.

You're such a good person, Ralf. You deserve happiness, and I see you getting there-- I really do. Don't close the book before the story is over.