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Old 22nd April 2015, 05:53 PM   #706
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
UKG not heard from you for quite some time now how are things going with you and your situation ?.
Hi Ralph,

Things are going well but slower than I would like, but as you know from my previous posts its going to take time for the trust to come back. Although she did say things are improving on that part the other day when I dropped it into convo.

What have I been up to? Well, we've been carrying on going out for dates, the most recent last weekend which was really nice. Amazing location by the river, cocktails and great food. A really good night.
The week before that we had a family day out to a theme park which was lots of fun. Currently we are a lot more at ease in each others company, that old uneasy feeling for me is almost gone completely. We still talk every day, she makes 90% of the effort to contact as I still play it cool and let her ring me.

We have decided we are going on a family weekend away somewhere in the summer. Its a positive step forward imo as we haven't done that since we were together!

Plans/Goals (realistic short term) are to carry on what we are doing as things seems to be slowly getting better all the time. Not to try and force things but let it happen naturally. I guess you cant force love/feelings to come straight back, it needs to build.

What else. I'm planning on asking her if she wants to go on a city break or just a weekend away somewhere just the two of us. I will ask her after we've been away as a family first, slow but steady I guess...

Not sure what else to say really? Yes I have doubts, this could be all for nothing but what type of man would I be to give up on something I really want - my wife, my family back together. As long as things continue to happen then ill carry on but as I said to her before if this is last chance saloon for me, no going back. I need to draw the line somewhere as I know I cant wait forever.

Any feedback welcome
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Old 22nd April 2015, 08:36 PM   #707
ralfgarnett
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

I'm very pleased mate that things are progressing nicely for you in fact as I have said before I'm envious but in a nice way I wish I had a fraction of what you have right now, I admire your determination to win back your wife and family if there were more husbands and fathers like you in the country it would be a better place, all I can say is I wish you every good luck you can get in trying for your goal you deserve it so much, wish me luck too please mate maybe your lucky touch could rub off on me, we don't have kids but I do love my wife more than anything and I would give anything or do anything to have her back in my life I miss her so much, but well done you keep up the good work you are an inspiration to me and give me hope that there is a chance for all of us.
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Old 22nd April 2015, 09:26 PM   #708
chosen
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Has she given any indication at all that she is willing to reconcile at some point??

Last edited by chosen; 23rd April 2015 at 01:11 AM.
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Old 22nd April 2015, 09:31 PM   #709
Raymond
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Keep up the good work UKGuy. Whilst things are improving all the time don't do anything. Building trust always takes a long time and cannot be forced. Anyway you know what I think.
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Old 23rd April 2015, 08:39 AM   #710
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
I'm very pleased mate that things are progressing nicely for you in fact as I have said before I'm envious but in a nice way I wish I had a fraction of what you have right now, I admire your determination to win back your wife and family if there were more husbands and fathers like you in the country it would be a better place, all I can say is I wish you every good luck you can get in trying for your goal you deserve it so much, wish me luck too please mate maybe your lucky touch could rub off on me, we don't have kids but I do love my wife more than anything and I would give anything or do anything to have her back in my life I miss her so much, but well done you keep up the good work you are an inspiration to me and give me hope that there is a chance for all of us.
Thanks for the kind word. I wish you the best too, stay strong and good luck mate. Still early days for you...
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Old 23rd April 2015, 08:43 AM   #711
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
Has she given any indication at all that she is willing to reconcile at some point??
Well she hasn't gave me an exact date of that haha. She's told me she wants to try for the marriage but the trust needs to be restored and things need to happen naturally. As long as progress is being made then that's all I can ask for right now. I can't force trust and feelings towards me.
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Old 23rd April 2015, 08:44 AM   #712
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Keep up the good work UKGuy. Whilst things are improving all the time don't do anything. Building trust always takes a long time and cannot be forced. Anyway you know what I think.
Completely agree. Thanks Raymond
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Old 25th April 2015, 12:56 PM   #713
ralfgarnett
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Just realised UKG that you made your first post in this thread in the morning of July 9th last year, that was the day my wife gave me the speech, little did I know that later on that evening that my life was about to start falling to pieces, how odd and fairly coincidental, out of interest why did you leave it a year before you started posting ?.
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Old 4th July 2015, 11:00 AM   #714
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Hi All,

Just checking for a quick update.

Things are improving and we're spending more time together and it feels more and more comfortable. We booked a nice midweek break during the school holidays so that should be fun. Had a nice date last night too. Amazing food and a perfect view in a great location! We walked outside of the resturant and sat next to each other side by side looking at the view. When we got back we watched a film and she was lead out on the sofa and put her legs on lap. I wanted to test the water so I started to stroke and massage her feet and lower legs, she didn't pull away and seemed to like it. It was more of test for me to see how she would react.

The trust part is still an issue but as she said the other day things are going well at the moment and progress is being made. For now at least I'm happy to keep going what we're doing...
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Old 4th July 2015, 11:12 AM   #715
ralfgarnett
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by UkGuy View Post
Hi All,

Just checking for a quick update.

Things are improving and we're spending more time together and it feels more and more comfortable. We booked a nice midweek break during the school holidays so that should be fun. Had a nice date last night too. Amazing food and a perfect view in a great location! We walked outside of the resturant and sat next to each other side by side looking at the view. When we got back we watched a film and she was lead out on the sofa and put her legs on lap. I wanted to test the water so I started to stroke and massage her feet and lower legs, she didn't pull away and seemed to like it. It was more of test for me to see how she would react.

The trust part is still an issue but as she said the other day things are going well at the moment and progress is being made. For now at least I'm happy to keep going what we're doing...
So pleased for you mate that things are improving, you give me hope and you are my inspiration, good luck mate keep up the good work.
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Old 4th July 2015, 01:10 PM   #716
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
So pleased for you mate that things are improving, you give me hope and you are my inspiration, good luck mate keep up the good work.
My wife and I are in the best position we have been in so far. It's positive.

Thanks Ralf
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Old 4th July 2015, 01:27 PM   #717
chosen
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Quote:
Originally Posted by UkGuy View Post
Hi All,

Just checking for a quick update.

Things are improving and we're spending more time together and it feels more and more comfortable. We booked a nice midweek break during the school holidays so that should be fun. Had a nice date last night too. Amazing food and a perfect view in a great location! We walked outside of the resturant and sat next to each other side by side looking at the view. When we got back we watched a film and she was lead out on the sofa and put her legs on lap. I wanted to test the water so I started to stroke and massage her feet and lower legs, she didn't pull away and seemed to like it. It was more of test for me to see how she would react.

The trust part is still an issue but as she said the other day things are going well at the moment and progress is being made. For now at least I'm happy to keep going what we're doing...
I really hope that it is worth all your effort, its been SUCH a long time.
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Old 4th July 2015, 03:27 PM   #718
ralfgarnett
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
I really hope that it is worth all your effort, its been SUCH a long time.
I think he should focus on the positives of which there seem to be quite a few at the moment and use them as building blocks for improving their relationship, I can only dream of being in his current position.
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Old 4th July 2015, 04:10 PM   #719
UkGuy
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
I really hope that it is worth all your effort, its been SUCH a long time.
Trust is easy to break but takes a long time to build
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Old 4th July 2015, 04:18 PM   #720
ralfgarnett
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Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

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Originally Posted by UkGuy View Post
Trust is easy to break but takes a long time to build
I disagree to a certain extent let me explain, I think trust 2nd time around will take a long time to re-build, but I can honestly say that within a few months of meeting my wife who was my girlfriend at the time I knew she was trustworthy and at the time knew she would never hurt or betray me, that was over 20 years ago and 1 year exactly this coming Thursday for the first time in just over 19 years she hurt me like nobody has ever hurt me before so it just goes to show, if we were lucky enough to re-unite which I doubt it would take a hell of a lot of re-building of trust on my side but I would be willing to try.
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