How to build a healthy marriage?

[overfiftyman]

Healthy marriage is a result of "Fall in love, stay in love"...

So many fell in love, but most of them don't stay in love, this push the marriage to crises...

To fall in love no need to much learning and effort that why so many fell in love.

To stay in love, needs learning and effort, when this done love and marriage keeping going.

How one can stay in love with his/her spouse?

Hi Over...

I think I can answer how you stay in love with your spouse. You consider the other person' welfare in everything you say or do. You never belittle that person or insult their thinking or opinions and welcome input. You honor that person. You make them feel needed and necessary and tell them that life is better with them. When there are disagreements, as all relationships have differences, you never say coarse words or ever use the word "divorce". That is never an option, because you work through any problem.

The marital vows say, "in sickness and health, for richer for poorer, and until death do you part."
One can't be a moaner and weak about things that happen. You get over obstacles and don't drag each other down with pessimism. You think positive how things can be improved. Life is a series of obstacles from birth to death. Keep his/her family close in love as your own family.

You encourage your wife/husband. When you are married, you avoid any situation that will put your loyalty in jeopardy.
Let us say that you avoid the appearance of evil as in a situation with other men or women. You just don't get yourself into a time when temptation is a possibility. You remember the love you have for your mate and how that relationship is most important always. You speak well of your mate and
don't take negative information outside the home. Deal with problems. Be thankful for your blessings.
Most of all, pray for the good health and happiness for the other. I stayed in love.

If you do these things, blessings will overflow.

Respect, in my humble opinion, is the most important part of a marriage!

Never lose the respect for your partner, respect them as an individual, as a person, as your partner!

Respect their needs, their desires, their dreams, their aspirations...

Never lose that respect in a disagreement or if you do not agree with your partners opinion!

I had an interesting conversation with a 'friend' about the word "lead". She felt that there is no place for the verb "to lead" in a happy relationship.....

I happen to disagree...

Sometimes we all need to be led, to be encouraged by our partner if the road ahead is difficult. Offering a 'hand' does not mean that it will be taken... Respect that! If the 'hand' is taken then lead carefully, respectfully!

Did I just waffle on a bit? Sorry. Not sure that I managed to get my point across there but I know what I mean anyway!

Think about your friends... To be friends with someone you have to respect them as they respect you otherwise they will not be your friend!

The sam applies to your partner... If you do not respect or give them respect then they will not be your partner for long!

[Raymond]

I think you are on to something. A wife should respect a husband and a husband should love his wife. If they make those their strengths they cannot go far wrong.

[QUOTE=Raymond;68956]I think you are on to something. A wife should respect a husband and a husband should love his wife. If they make those their strengths they cannot go far wrong.[/QUOTE]

A Husband and Wife, Partners, should BOTH love and respect each other equally, AS equals!

[Raymond]

My thoughts come from the bible Arcos. I know you don't rate that. Of course both should do both but the bible emphasises husbands love their wives and wives respect their husbands. Maybe because that is the point where the different sexes can weaken. My wife aims to respect me. Loving me is much easier for her. I concentrate on loving her. There are times when I need to be told to love her and I remember what the bible says. The respect comes naturally for me. We are weak creatures and need a bit of exhortation sometimes.

[Helen_uk]

Respect should be a part of the different aspects of love , in fact without mutual respect I wouldn't have considered another relationship.

I feel strongly that his lack of respect for me caused my ex to do the things he did .

[QUOTE=Raymond;69034]My thoughts come from the bible Arcos. I know you don't rate that. Of course both should do both but the bible emphasises husbands love their wives and wives respect their husbands. Maybe because that is the point where the different sexes can weaken. My wife aims to respect me. Loving me is much easier for her. I concentrate on loving her. There are times when I need to be told to love her and I remember what the bible says. The respect comes naturally for me. We are weak creatures and need a bit of exhortation sometimes.[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure that you should prejudge how I "rate" the bible Raymond!

Just because I am not a God fearing man doesn't mean that I dont "rate" one of the greatest story books ever written!

And, with your thoughts coming from the bible, it, to me, highlights some of it's 'shortcomings'...

Respect AND Love should be BOTH ways... Shouldn't it?

A husband SHOULD respect his wife and vice versa. Once that respect is lost then, in my humble opinion, the very foundation of the relationship is rocked.

[QUOTE=Helen_uk;69038]Respect should be a part of the different aspects of love , in fact without mutual respect I wouldn't have considered another relationship.

I feel strongly that his lack of respect for me caused my ex to do the things he did .[/QUOTE]

Helen, without respect how can you love someone?

Respect is the bedrock on which to build love, to build a relationship, whether that is through marriage, friendship or through a couple being together.

If it isn't mutual then what have you got?

Without respect for someone, anyone, there is no 'control' on what you will do against that person!

[Raymond]

[QUOTE=Raymond;69034] Of course both should do both [/QUOTE]

Of course you are both right. Respect is part of love. I was just pointed out that husbands are told to love their wives much more in the scriptures and wives told to respect their husbands much more. This doesn't preclude doing both but ratio wise it is emphasised much more that husbands love their wives and wives respect their husbands. Normally if husbands love their wives then maybe it is more natural for the wives to love them back. It has certainly helped me to make sure that I love my wife beyond just my feelings. I find her response is very encouraging.

Respect should be part of loving someone... But it IS different to love!

Raymond I am very happy that the way you have your love/respect balance works out for you... I would suggest that it may not work for everyone...

To love, to respect together is, in my mind, the PERFECT balance as they are different.

I 'love' many more people than I respect! I 'love' my friends, I don't respect all of them.

The friends that I do love AND respect are the ones I would die for, the ones I would give my last cent to...

My brother loves me... I couldn't say that he respects me!

To me at least, there is a very clear distinction between the two and, for a marriage, a relationship to work, for me at least, it would require an equal, bidirectional balance of both.

[Raymond]

I think you have hit on something.

As a christian I couldn't help noticing how often those words were repeated in the context of marriage in scripture.