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Old 24th December 2011, 10:46 AM   #106
bandit0000
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Re: Do I have any hope?

thank you. Forever you are right, think I need to spare a bit of time to read some more today. Chamomile, thank you for the hug, I think that is what I miss the most. The advise on here has
been invaluable for me and even though I am very upset, because of the advice I have received, (not crying and begging etc), I am feeling better. Still feel the fear and the panic but not all the time and actually my spirits are lifted for this xmas period, so thank you all. SM is my male perspective with fab male advice and I see Forever as my guardian angel. Hope everyone is ok xxx
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Old 24th December 2011, 11:26 AM   #107
chosen
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Re: Do I have any hope?

You are doing well, keep it up.Its very painful for you.
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Old 24th December 2011, 12:27 PM   #108
bandit0000
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Gosh these men sure are confusing (sorry SM), just popped upstairs for 10 mins to have a read of my book and he came up asking if I was ok and if anything is wrong! So smiled sweetly saying no, nothing wrong just wrapping presents.

For my valued advisor SM, I do hope you are ok today, I know today is particularly hard and tomorrow also. I am thinking of you xx
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Old 24th December 2011, 02:43 PM   #109
Sillyman
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Lisa,

Yes we are confusing - even I don't understand myself sometimes.

Just back from time with my daughter. Lovely lunch, and the little monkey talked me into buying her a sledge, even though it's currently about 12 degrees and bucketing down here in Cardiff!

I thought the bomb was going to drop at my w's house. The box with her engagement and wedding rings was in full view - looking like it was in preparation to be handed back to me. But there was no mention when I dropped my daughter off.

She's still got total control of me. It's getting annoying now!

SM
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Old 24th December 2011, 03:12 PM   #110
Forever
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Re: Do I have any hope?

SM,
Perhaps she was thinking about giving them back, but is not going to be that cruel on your Anniversary or in front of your daughter...did not want you to cry in front of her. OR perhaps she was waxing sentimental and even though she could not bring herself to wear them, she at least wanted to see them in memory of the good times???

If she does give them back, then you wont be needing to have that talk with her.
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Old 24th December 2011, 03:19 PM   #111
Sillyman
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Forever,

It's hard to fathom what she's thinking. I'm glad they weren't handed back today of all days, as I may have said something that is not appropriate in front of my daughter. I have bitten my tongue in the face of some very nasty abuse this year - but that would have been a step to far today.

I tried to keep my composure when saying goodbye to my little one - which I think I almost achieved.

Now gotta keep busy - luckily you can still manage bills online on Christmas Eve, so my finances will be getting some attention. What a fun evening!

SM
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Old 24th December 2011, 03:35 PM   #112
Forever
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Today is "Deer in the Headlight Day". It is about 7:30 am now, and the biggest day in the Christmas Season. This is when men pour into the shops at the last second desperately looking for something for their wives or girlfriends. I own a jewelry store so I usually do pretty impressive business.
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Old 24th December 2011, 03:38 PM   #113
Sillyman
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Forever,

See if you can spot the ones buying for wives AND girlfriends!

You should stick 10% on the prices - that'll teach em!

SM
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Old 24th December 2011, 03:45 PM   #114
Forever
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Re: Do I have any hope?

That's funny...the wives get the cheaper things, the gf's get the impressive bobbles. Or sometimes men buy things as "guilt offerings". Men never ask for discounts either as opposed to women, so perhaps I should "sticker" it to them.

One thing that is obvious, I can easily tell when a man really is crazy about his beloved...it is heartwarming and I usually offer them a discount.
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Old 24th December 2011, 04:03 PM   #115
bandit0000
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Re: Do I have any hope?

SM keep busy like me, I just cleaned my house from top to bottom and the dog is next in line

Can't believe your wife left those in view. In my opinion that was definitely done on purpose, she wanted to see your reaction, especially today. Basically I think she wanted to hurt you. Mmmmm me thinks she cares a little too much, if she was over you she would probably sell them or just leave them in her jewellery box for when your daughter is older.

Well my H will be back shortly, I wonder what the evening holds, am getting pretty bored now, don't know if its just part of the process and because hes hurt me, but right now I'm thinking I'm not that bothered anyway. I am sure I will be upset again in a minute lol, these emotions move fast! I asked if he was coming to my brothers for dinner tomorrow and he said he didn't know, so we shall see. X
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Old 24th December 2011, 04:06 PM   #116
bandit0000
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Re: Do I have any hope?

SM, so glad you had a nice time with your Daughter.

Forever, hope you do good business today xx
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Old 24th December 2011, 04:07 PM   #117
Sillyman
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Lisa,

Meant to say. He's asking if anything is wrong? You handled that brilliantly.

He's obviously questioning things now. I think it's the hand illustration in Love Must Be Tough in practice. You're pulling away and he's coming back the other way. He's not having to fight against your emotions anymore and is wondering why. There's questions in his head.

SM
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Old 24th December 2011, 04:20 PM   #118
bandit0000
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Re: Do I have any hope?

SM, you think? Now what I really wanted to say was "what could possibly be wrong, you just announced you don't love me enough anymore, what more do you want"
glad you thought I handled it ok, I do try and think before I offer a response. I love those hand diagrams, make it very simple to understand, anyway back to my book, I'm having a little recap before he gets in you take care xx
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Old 24th December 2011, 04:31 PM   #119
Sillyman
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Lisa,

The 180 mentions not talking about the relationship until the other person brings it up. I know it leaves you in limbo for a while - but if you bring it up it'll seem clingy and emotional.

Just leave him to it.

Christmas is a bad time to go through this - lots of emotions. Keep your nerve for the next week or so, then see where you are in the new year.

SM
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Old 24th December 2011, 05:46 PM   #120
Chamomile
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Re: Do I have any hope?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sillyman View Post
Lisa,

The 180 mentions not talking about the relationship until the other person brings it up. I know it leaves you in limbo for a while - but if you bring it up it'll seem clingy and emotional.

Just leave him to it.

SM
Hi Lisa

Your h sounds like a quitter. He was married twice before which all ended one reason or another. This is just one another failure to him. To be honest, if he wants to leave, there's little/nothing you can do about it. Being single is not as bad as living with someone you can't tell if he's coming or going, which will make you ill. He sounds like he has some personality flaw treating his marriage like disposing old shoes when he wants a new pair.

It might be worth talking to a therapist if you have never had any therapy before? It may help unravel what's going on.
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