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Old 20th August 2013, 05:44 PM   #1
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Need Help Partner's Daughter Has Stolen Clothing

My partner and I are due to be married very soon she has a 12 year old daughter who I get on with well. So up until now everything has been going fine. A week or so ago my partner's daughter came home from dancing with another girls coat in her bag. She just pulled out this red duffle coat and showed it to us. To clear up why a duffle coat in a warm August, the mother of the child had purchased the coat that day before dancing. Most likely for the colder months. It was on the changing area floor and my partner's daughter pulled it out of its bag and put it in hers whilst the woman was dealing with her daughter.

I was horrified she just put it on in front of use tried the hood up she was so calm about it. I asked her what she was thinking of and again she was so calm. She just said it's a tiny changing area that's always full nobody would have seen her. I then expected my partner to take the coat off her and to punish her but she just told her not to do it again and that was it. I challenged my partner but she said what's done is done the coat can't be given back without exposing her daughter. She just told her to take the duffle coat and hang it with her clothing until she needed it to wear.

I could not believe what I had just seen. I hold her I wasn't happy about her daughter walking round in the coat when the colder weather came and my partner was so calm about it again. She just said there is no point not using the coat now she can go to school in it and she can go to dancing in another coat.

I need help in dealing with this I don't know what to do or say. I understand her not wanting her daughter exposed but I don't understand letting her keep the coat. Every time she wears it she is going to think what she did was ok. Please can someone help with what to do or say and has anyone else had to deal with their partner's child doing something like this. I want to still get married will this happen again.
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Old 25th August 2013, 04:55 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Need Help Partner's Daughter Has Stolen Clothing

Goodness, your partners attitude is very wrong. She should have made her take it back immediately and apologise. AS for just letting her wear it that is plain daft. How will she learn that she cant go round stealing other peoples belongings?
I think this is a big issue that you need to think about seriously, as its not just her daughter, but any future kids you may have that this will affect.

I would be horrified as well, as she has just rewarded her daughter for stealing. I am sure this wont be the last time.
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Old 26th August 2013, 05:20 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Need Help Partner's Daughter Has Stolen Clothing

It will lead to serious problems in the daughters life as she grows up. It is a red light and you need to consider what kind of morality you are marrying into. If the mother is not behind you in dealing with this stealing then one can foresee big problems in family life.
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Old 18th December 2014, 05:07 PM   #4
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Posts: 2
Re: Need Help Partner's Daughter Has Stolen Clothing

She shouldn't be tolerating what happened and would be best if she starts to discipline her daughter at an early age. The worst is yet to come if she gets used to stealing other people's belonging. You should talk to your partner about it as this is absolutely wrong. Being calm after what happened is ok, as long as she calmly explained about her mistake, as well as the repercussions.
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