I need help, i don't know if i am in the right place

Hi Gytrel,

I know it hurts like hell and his behaviour is confusing you, but it sounds like you have had a lucky escape; he's obviously not mature enough or cares enough about you to get married.

I second Chosen - if you can't afford the house by yourself, I would get a solicitor involved and look at selling it. He is being incrediby irresponsible, just thinking he can walk away and leave you to handle all the mess, but it sounds like you're starting to see what a wally he is for yourself.
Hugs,

Ax

I am hoping to take on the mortgage myself i can afford to take it on with the daily bills the big problem is the debt he has left me in. once i get the car sold it will save alot of problems but he wont give me the car back everytime i ask for it he stalls with it and tells me he needs it.

Yesterday tho i contacted a really good friend of mine who is a lawyer, she never liked Brian so i hadnt told her what had happened but i contacted her to ask for some advice because he was so horrible yesterday to me so she is going to sort everything for me and help me out with the whole thing so its kinda helping noing i have someone i can turn to with all of this and whono's what i should and shouldnt be doing.

i am still in a total mess because he just keeps telling me how i am trying to screw him over and he doesnt see that all i am so upset and i am trying to do everything for him so that it is all sorted for him because all i want is him happy i just can not deal with it all, its just really getting to me most of all i cant cope with how someone i love so much and was planning my life with is just turned on me.

thanks everyone again xx

Hi Gytrel,

I am so glad to hear you've got such a great friend behind you. It does make a lot of difference, and I think you're doing the right thing.

To get you in debt, leave you with the house bills, run off with the car and then have the nerve to tell you you're trying to screw *him* over?! I'm sorry, but what a jerk!! You can do SO much better than that.

You need to get to a place where you worry less about making him happy (who certainly doesn't deserve it) and think more about what will make you happy.

I know right now you think having the 'old' version of him back would make you happy (been there, done that!) but I think you're seeing the real him now. The 'old' him isn't coming back.

Aside from a relationship, what else would make you happy? Are there any old hobbies you used to enjoy? Things you like doing? Friends you've not hung out with for a bit?

Axx

I know he isnt coming back and i think that does make it harder, because to just get myself out of bed somedays i need to just kid myself on that maybe he will come back but i no he never will!

Its funny you say that about hobbies my brother has talked me into starting a blog on baking and things, because he keeps telling me to get over it and do something! so i have been looking into maybe attending a night course in cake decorating and things, but they seem expensive so not sure how practical that will be! Or the fact that i currently get up at 5:15am have a 2hour trip to work then work till 4/5pm then another 2 hour trip home, hence one of the other reasons he left i was tired all the time!

My mum and dad are so desperate to go take the car back but i am just so scared of upsetting him and making him really angry at me that i just cant force it. Yesterday he jsut point blank refused to give me the car so i am hoping i can get it off him at one point this week, any longer and i will need to take it off him!

thanks xx

Hi Gtyrel,

How are you? Not posting so much as going through a pretty stressful time myself with selling house flat, moving etc. but I still think of the guys on this site. Have you taken up any hobbies?

Your brother talking about 'getting over it' - it's not always that easy /simple, but only someone else who's been through it knows that.

How did it go with the car?

Take care,

Ax