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Old 14th October 2010, 03:57 AM   #1
buff252
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me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

i neeed some help please. i have been with my wife for 11 yrs and married for 6 yrs. we have a 3 year old son together this year i brought my work home with me everyday. i was miserable lazy angry always yelling at her and my son... def noy fair to yhem... she told me on sept 19 of this year she needs space she wanted to goto her moms with our son i said thats not fair to them cause all his toys and bed and all her things and bed were there so i left and staying with a friend... i am back to my old ways of being happy and helping out when im over there seeing my son... i miss them so much...i goto hug her and she seems to hug back she just went on a truck loan with me after the seperation she says she needs space... im working on the house so we can move to a better place she said she would help me clean up the basement and help me paint... i said i wanted to move to new jersey which is where she is from... but she just doesnt want me over there everyday and its killing me... i did notice that she has a pillow where i use to sleep in bed... we goto dinner on sat nights with our son she says dont get excited were doing this for our son... i said i know i need them so much... someone please help me... i never back down from a fight and she and my son are worth the fight. all of my clothes are still there all i have with me is a duffle bag of clothes... do i still have a chance of being with them again as a happy family? i dont want to pressure her cause i dont want to push her away... what can i do... im scared and need them... some people are saying that this is her wake up call to me and putting a huge scare in me... well she definetly is... someone please help
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Old 14th October 2010, 06:04 AM   #2
chosen
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Re: me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

All that you can do is to carry on working on changing yourself, and showing her that you are not going to be angry and miserable like you were before. Sometimes, if we have been acting very badly, we do need a wake up call before we change and try to put things right. YOu no longer take them for granted, and so give her time, and from what you have said there is still hope for your marriage.
Its hard to know what she will do, but do all that you can to try to make things work.Do you think that she may agree to go to marriage counselling?
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Old 14th October 2010, 11:24 AM   #3
buff252
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Re: me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

I dont think she is rwady and i dont want to ask her cause i dont w!nt to pressure her and push her further away from me... i want and need them back so bad
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Old 23rd October 2010, 05:12 PM   #4
Greg72
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Re: me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

it is so easy working hard to give your family everything you think they want, that you head gets stuck in the sand and unable to see your no longer giving affection to them, i made that mistake
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Old 25th October 2010, 02:43 PM   #5
pmsc69
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Re: me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg72 View Post
it is so easy working hard to give your family everything you think they want, that you head gets stuck in the sand and unable to see your no longer giving affection to them, i made that mistake
Very good point. I tried to save our marriage and did everything I could only to end up separated instead and due to a guy half her age. It takes two to sort out a marriage but don't allow her to let u work hard on it alone. I noticed my wife didn't raise a finger and thought I could still make it work. How wrong we can be.
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Old 26th October 2010, 05:31 AM   #6
DaMarried
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Re: me and my wife are seperated and im dying inside

Possession is 9/10ths of the law.

Out of sight, out of mind.

You may try figuring out a way to get back in the house. Separation is expensive if you have to pay for two places to live. If you are in the house, sleeping somewhere, that will save you both money. Plus, she sees you everyday if you are there.
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