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Old 31st March 2010, 03:38 PM   #1
koliver0821
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Things that irritate me

Sorry, I have to vent. Good days mostly. I wont lie. My relationship is on the up and up. We have been talking. We don't sweat the small stuff. (well most of the time). My wife finally acknowledged that our lives are pretty chaotic mainly because we have 4 kids.

My recent health issues have changed my outlook on life. Prior to my seizure, I admit I was walking on egg shells when it came to my relationship to my wife. That's not to say things weren't going well. We were definitely closer and my wife (miraculously) has gone out less with her cousin.....

Sex life has definitely improved. My wife went from telling me she felt cheap and dirty after making love to not experiencing that at all.

So why do I feel the need to vent. I think partly its because Im off my anti-depressants. Unfortunately, the drugs I was on may have been the cause of the seizure I had and although there are drugs out there I may be able to take, I've been told to hold off on taking them until the battery of tests have been completed. I can already tell im getting irritable. I can tell Im getting frustrated easier.

Another reason is that IM not allowed to drive. Atleast for awhile. So I can't "escape" to the gym. I have to beg friends and family for rides to work.

Also, this morning, my wife and I are talking about our day. She had volunteered to help out in my sons Kindergarten class. However, she was complaining about it. Alot. I told her, no one would think less of her if she decided she could no longer do it. I mean thats why they call it volunteering. Her response, "I made a commitment and I honor my commitments." I said nothing. This no doubt grated on me. See, Im certainly willing to forgive however, this bothered me. I was probably lucky I was getting dressed and was able to hide in the closet to pick out some clothes. Of course, honoring commitments like marriage and fidelity are important too. Maybe more than giving 2 hours of time to a kindergarten class.

Ok, IM done venting. I feel better already. To be honest. Most of my current issues are due to my health issues being up in the air. Has anyone here gone through the relationship turbulence tunnel and has found the light on the other side? Just curious.
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Old 31st March 2010, 06:02 PM   #2
koliver0821
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Re: Things that irritate me

Sorry all, I forgot to add that I've been on this board for since the beginning of the year. My wife wanted a separation/space which I granted. I've changed my attitude and what I want out of life. It started off as being needy and insecure about living life without my wife. However, I realized that the things I was doing actually made me feel better. So I've kept up with them. My wife admitted to having an EA/PA several months ago after 3-4 weeks of separation. We are now in full blow reconciliation mode. Maybe even recovery mode.

I love my wife deeply. I know my wife loves me deeply. We have our days. But honestly, I stopped worrying about the outcome and got busy living. I know she will always be a part of my life. regardless of the crap in between.
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Old 31st March 2010, 07:24 PM   #3
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Things that irritate me

Sounds good Oliver. Keep up the excercise even if you can't make the Gym. There is lots you can do in the yard or the house, but hopefully you will get the needs you need.

I'm glad you are off tablets. You made need to adjust to it a little but if you can go without needing them it will be better. You don't want to get dependent on them.

Raymond
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