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Old 19th July 2003, 10:40 PM   #1
lika
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Exclamation Help me

Hi! I really need advice. My husband and I live for 2,5 years. Now we are going to divorce. I am fourth wife in my husband's life and also I am foreign.
He cheated me on the Internet after 6 month of our marriage. When I found out about it was awful. During our marriage my husband fits of temper in quarrels and fights. I always tried to calm him down and understand him. When I learned about his affair I was shoked, I wasn't prepared for this. We had long conversations with our pastor, my husband was very sorry and I found shrength to forgive him.
Some time passed and I noticed that he was spending a lot of time on the Internet again. I saw numerous over calls on our telefone bills. So I realized he was again on the old path.
I know now the reasons of divorses of all his previous marriages.
Cheating! Lie!
But from other hand I love him and he loves me too, as he said. I don't trust him. I still do want to make up our mariage. We have a big difference between our ages, but isn't important...
Help me ... how and what kind of words I can find that he can understand he is wrong. We are living separate and he has a lot of time to spent on the Internet, so now he is on the meeting with women in foreign country too. But he told me that it is just a trip to see this country. lie again...
with hope, Lika
May somebody help me?

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Old 21st July 2003, 10:26 PM   #2
Liz
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 662
Hi there,

It sounds as if your husband has an addiction to the internet and to on line unfaithfulness. You may find =this site helpful. There are other resources here.

Is it possible for you to both go and see your pastor again, so he can advise you and pray for you? You say you are not living with your husband. Does he live close enough for you to go to the pastor together?

To rebuild trust you need to agree on honesty between you. You might like to read the article about trust here.

It's difficult to know if your husband will take any notice of what you say if his addiction is very strong, but perhaps you can get other people you trust to pray for him. Does he have some sort of Christian faith? You can pray for the Lord to open his eyes to his need for help and how wrong what he is doing is.

I hope that you can find help in your local church as well.

With best wishes

Liz
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