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Old 20th April 2004, 04:08 PM   #1
Looking 4 Suggestions
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Angry Inlaws and Disability

I was not sure what thread to ask this under, so forgive me if this is the wrong one..... I am seeking advice as to how to handle a situation that is occuring within our family. My Father In Law became disabled last year due to a stroke, my mother in law was unable to drive to dr.'s appt's etc. and there income ended due to the stroke so my brother in law, sister in law and their 4 children decided to move in with them to *help*. They rented their home, the lease was up and they have a very good income ((close to 100K a year)) ANYWAY after they moved in at first everything was going *ok*. However they backed out of their financial support and have refused to pay ANY bills other than purchasing groceries for their family. My mother in law who is in her mid 60's now takes 8-11 trash cans to the street every week, has been "assigned" dish duty for 8 people and has to wait to do her laundry until my sister in law is done with the washer and dryer... And the list goes ON and ON..... They have also "taken" over the use of their second car so she does not have access to it on a daily basis. My husband and I are at our wits end and do NOT know how to handle this it technically is NONE of our business because she is allowing this to happen but at the same time we want to protect her..... Any advice?
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Old 20th April 2004, 08:31 PM   #2
Kate
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Join Date: Feb 2000
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Re: Inlaws and Disability

This must be very distressing for you. Does your husband get on well with his brother? Would he be able to bring the subject up gently and talk things through if he could spend some time with him?

Perhaps you could have your in laws over for the day or take them out and give them some space to share their concerns with you. It might be best to dot his first so you are sure that you understand how they see the situation and whether they want to do anything or need your support in any way. It may be that what they need is to be able to get out of the house from time to time for a change.

I do hope that you can find some way to enable them to share any concerns they have. To know they are understood and supported may give them the confidence to challenge anything they are not happy with.

Kate
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