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26th August 2015, 08:20 PM
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#211
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
She may feel a little better if she knows what is causing it. The not knowing must be worse.
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26th August 2015, 08:21 PM
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#212
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
It will take a while for her to get over it, but at least doing something toward getting an answer, as we discussed, should help. The answer is little by little and never to push beyond what she can cope with. Let her stay in the driving seat but encourage small progresses. Also keep loving her and comfort her when you can. This will help reduce any unreasonable fears.
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27th August 2015, 03:40 PM
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#213
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
I do hope she'll be better after getting an answer, if we can get any. Trying not to be pessimistic here, but that's very hard to do.
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27th August 2015, 07:02 PM
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#214
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
You both have to make sure you are happy regardless at the moment and not to let this thing decide your happiness. When you find the answer that will be a bonus, but an effort should be made in the meantime to overcome depression and hopelessness.
You are still both alive together and need to count the blessings you have. I know it is not easy but the alternative will be much harder in the long run. Obviously your wife is taking this very hard but she needs to make an effort to get her mind off it a bit to enjoy the life she has now and maybe you can encourage her in this?
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28th August 2015, 04:04 PM
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#215
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
I've been trying. I had hoped to take a trip with her before returning to work, but she didn't want to.
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28th August 2015, 04:35 PM
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#216
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Try not to get discouraged about it. You have to meet her where she is at the present. Things will get better but first she has to know that you understand her. I don't mean you have to enable her fears and such but just her knowing that you understand where she is just now will go a long way. It takes time to heal from where she has got to. Meanwhile don't forget to have the checks done. Who knows what you will turn up.
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10th September 2015, 06:42 PM
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#217
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Not sure if anyone's interested, but I wouldn't feel right not posting it, but it seems like her egg quality might be poor.
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10th September 2015, 08:59 PM
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#218
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
OK so it maybe that the foetus's were not forming properly due to poor or damaged eggs, and thats why the abortions happened. Apparently that's why most abortions do happen in the first 3 months. Maybe the doctor will tell you more.
Options are donor eggs or possibly adoption?
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11th September 2015, 10:14 AM
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#219
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Good that she had the courage to have the test.
You said might be poor so presumably this has to be confirmed for sure?
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11th September 2015, 05:58 PM
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#220
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
That's what we've been told yes. We've had adoption suggested before, and now a donor egg is being suggested as well.
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11th September 2015, 06:15 PM
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#221
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
I assume this means another woman's eggs but your sperm, although I confess I do not know a lot about this. If what Chosen says is possible it might be worth looking into it. Obviously it's your decision as a married couple what you want to do now. I just hope they have made an accurate diagnosis.
If you were in our church we would pray for your wife's healing but one could still pray if you wanted, although the proof of the healing would be in another pregnancy succeeding and I don't know if your wife is up to that.
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11th September 2015, 06:21 PM
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#222
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Yeah. I don't know if she's all that into trying again right now, might not be ever this time. She's taking it hard, but in a way there is a little closure.
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11th September 2015, 06:43 PM
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#223
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon
Yeah. I don't know if she's all that into trying again right now, might not be ever this time. She's taking it hard, but in a way there is a little closure.
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Once you find out definitely about the eggs, you will be able to make a decision. Yes its not nice for her at all, but at least you both now know the probably reason for the miscarriages is probably that the foetus was damaged due to eggs that are damaged.
I believe that you can have a donor egg which can be fertilised by your sperm outside the body and then implanted.
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11th September 2015, 06:54 PM
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#224
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Guest
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
I feel that it's not being pushed so much as being gently suggested, but even then we've been told that it's not a 100% guarantee.
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12th September 2015, 09:29 AM
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#225
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
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Re: Wife and I have not been intimate in months.
They would never push it as it is your choice but if you did want children it would be something to go for. It is a risk but what is there to lose? Presumably once it had taken your wife would be pregnant. Might it not be on the basis of keep trying it. I know this must smack of the other problem you had of your wife keep trying for a baby but it does seem an option. I know you would really need time to think about this. Who would be the donor and that kind of thing.
A plus might be that sex would be for sex and not to get pregnant. I think that this would help to bond your marriage and make it ready for a young one to come into.
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