His fantasies

[alg1216]

Another comment... I recently found porn on the computer. I confronted him about it, asking "why" - it wasn't to make him stop watching it, but it hurt to find that. He told me he watches it because he likes a variety of women, and he fantasizes about other women as well. He also wonders what it would be like if him and his ex-girlfriend worked out. It hurt hearing this because it made me think there is something wrong with me or that I'm not enough - and apparently I'm not. And no, I'm not overwieght and we have sex about 5-7 times a week.

I know men watch porn, but it's hard to hear him say he fantasizes about other women and his other relationships.

Am I being too sensitive/emotional about it? Any suggestions?

[Raymond]

I don't think you are being too sensitive Alg. This stuff can be fatal for a marriage. I class it as mental adultery personally. If I did it I know I would be being unfaithful to my wife. No two ways about it. It cuts right to the intimacy of a marriage and brings others into it through his mind. If he doesn't stop it will become addictive and actually alter the pathways in his brain so that he will not know how to have sex with you.

[chosen]

I honestly dont think this man was ready or mature enough for marriage. He lied to you about wanting children which is a terrible thing to do, and he isnt being faithful to you sexually. Porn is very damaging for a marriage, and he needs to stop if you are going to have a good marriage. Porn damages the mind of the one looking, skews his idea of sex and women in general, and damages the self esteem of the other spouse, Also fantasizing about other women, including his ex, is very damaging also for the marriage. Its leads to discontentment and cheating mentally.
I am really not sure what to advise, except to tell him that you are not going to put up with the porn use, and also to go for some marriage counselling.