Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  

Go Back   2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums > Advice > Marriage Help

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 7th August 2013, 05:08 PM   #16
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

I'm hoping so. But if it turns out that her spite at me for dropping contact is just another power play then I must be prepared for more upset. Not that it could be any worse. If my wife really is thinking I don't care then I'm doing the wrong thing. However, if she ever does want to sort our problems then she will have to find a way to let me know. I cannot do anything but be here should she need me
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th August 2013, 05:19 PM   #17
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Is my marriage over ?

If she doesn't want to be with you, then why is she getting annoyed that you didn't contact her? Seems weird to me. Maybe she likes it that you are chasing her, and maybe that is why you need to take a step back and let her think you are ok without her. Cool off a bit.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th August 2013, 05:48 PM   #18
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Risky stratagy I know , and so hard to keep up.
I went out yesterday shopping, got some new clothes, bright colours. I'm doing this just to keep going. But I hope my wife notices if or when we see each other.
I know I'm here for her , thanks to the family helping me and ppl such as yourself, im still standing. Just
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th August 2013, 01:21 AM   #19
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Is my marriage over ?

I always think that if one spouse wants to leave/end the marriage, then they need to be allowed to see what life will be like alone, and that includes no contact/help/support from their spouse. They make that choice and they need to feel it.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 09:57 AM   #20
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Hi.
The silence is deafening from my wife , I've maintained my silence, I've taken time to socialise and I have found time to laugh. Everyone thinks I'm doing the right thing. But its difficult not to speak to her. The mind plays tricks. Past conversations blur and the truths become harder to find. I'm very much still hoping that something changes and she finds courage to at least begin reconciling.
It's been a big help allowing my thoughts and feelings to be aired here.
Thank you
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 12:49 PM   #21
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Barry you are doing very well and I also believe that you are doing the right thing by remaining distant at this time. Not easy I know.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 03:43 PM   #22
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

I've just been to our home. My wife does not appear to be there, but she has put plenty of newspapers and boxes inside , all ready to start packing. I knew she intended never to return to our home as she wants to move closer to her family. Hurt so much seeing how quiet and empty everything has become. So, nothing I couldn't have foreseen. I expect my wife will be there this weekend packing. I'm staying away though. Feel like a coward. I know I couldn't hold it together at this time.
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 05:41 PM   #23
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by toellandback View Post
I've just been to our home. My wife does not appear to be there, but she has put plenty of newspapers and boxes inside , all ready to start packing. I knew she intended never to return to our home as she wants to move closer to her family. Hurt so much seeing how quiet and empty everything has become. So, nothing I couldn't have foreseen. I expect my wife will be there this weekend packing. I'm staying away though. Feel like a coward. I know I couldn't hold it together at this time.
Yes stay away, that's far too painful. After 14 years I still remember so clearly my first husband packing and how distressing it was, even though I had had to ask him to go for reasons I cant go into here.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 06:13 PM   #24
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Sorry for bringing painful memories up chosen. I have offered to give her that fresh start she needs. Clearly at this time I still am not in her thoughts the selfish way I need to be. I sometimes wish something had happened between us that makes it clear why she is cutting me out of her life so completely.
I am struggling with not speaking to her , yet if she felt as I do she would call or txt I guess.
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th August 2013, 07:26 PM   #25
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Its sad that she cant just be open about what she is doing what she is doing. The least she owes is that.
Dont worry about the memories, I have been very happily married for nearly 8 years to a wonderful man.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th August 2013, 09:16 AM   #26
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

That's a good thing to hear , I'm certainly not looking that far ahead just yet
I went out with friends last night , had an unexpected msg from my wife. Just idle chit chat stuff. I must admit it cheered me up. I had maintained my silence for three days. I did reply, kept it civil without gushing or telling her I love , miss etc.
Sometimes I feel bad not saying how I feel everytime I have the opportunity.
Hopefully it means she is missing me and her thoughts are about us. Wishful thinking ??? I'm not sure
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th August 2013, 09:27 AM   #27
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Is my marriage over ?

tb if she has left because of the unbearable family rifts surely it would be wise to sort that out with her or at least find out if that is the reason?
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th August 2013, 09:53 AM   #28
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Raymond, I have truely tried to reassure my wife that we can repair the family rifts if we stay strong and above all else put each other first. I cannot sort anything at this time as my wife has not indicated that she has the desire to save anything we have. As stated , I'm not in contact at this time, it does seem it concerns her but her interest remains matter of fact.
To be Frank , the issues run deeper , I believe we didn't really understand that both of us were feeling angry and rejected, we lost confidence and intimacy , yet when I see clearly , its plain just how much we loved each other. I'm rambling a little, but hope it makes sense. Ultimately, I feel I let my wife down. If ever I get the chance , I would be a better man
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th August 2013, 09:13 PM   #29
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Is my marriage over ?

I do understand. I hope you get the chance to put it all into action.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th August 2013, 09:26 PM   #30
toellandback
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 228
Re: Is my marriage over ?

Trying would be good to get the chance , I'm absolutely committedto my vows and to her. Here goes tomorrow !
__________________
Barry
toellandback is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:39 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer