Happy but some advice needed

[charlie01]

Hi Everybody

I have now been happily married for 20 years. We have two children of 22 and 16 years. Both myself and my hubby work full time and I do bring work home with me as my job is quite demanding.

Now, here is the problem. We are both really happy and never really have any disagreements. However, we are more like brother and sister and over the past year or two the physical side to our relationship has just gone less and less to almost nothing at the moment. I do not know why this has happened but it just has.

Last night my hubby asked me what had happened to us and did I know why we had ended up like that. But I just do not know the answer. It is hard to change things around now and I just do not know how to make it any better.

If anybody has had this and has managed to turn things around could you please let me know any ideas or help as I really do want to make things better between us like they used to be but really am not sure how to go about it.

Thanks in advance

[chosen]

Make time just for the two of you alone and try and have a date night regularly and go out just you two. Have weekends away together, your children are old enough to be left alone now. There are many good marriage courses or marriage enrichment weekends that you can go on. I make sure that my husband and I do something like that every 2 or 3 years and they are helpful.
Sometimes work and children can get in the way of the marriage. Some people find that actually making a date/time for the physical side of marriage helps.

I find myself that having regular sex does keep us emotionally connected, and I am not surprised that you feel that emotional distance if you have let that side of things slip. It is a very important part of marriage, so try and make it a priority. Even a few marriage counselling sessions may help you to get back on track.

[Raymond]

I agree. Working on the sexual side of the marriage is important and you need to get this back somehow. You don't want to be just flatmates or be like brother and sister. Something needs to happen on that line I think. Try new things or put your fantasies into action maybe. I'm reminded of a preacher who said never ever lose the erotic in you marriage. Quite surprised me actually.