Hello,
Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I totally understand how you feel because a very similar thing happened to me. You just can't believe what has happened. You are in shock and denial of how something that seemed so perfect has ended up where it is now. Google '5 stages of grief' - you will find it very useful.
I think this is a very important statement : -
Quote:
Originally Posted by doonp1970
She said she wouldn't ask me or expect me to sit and wait for her
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My wife said the same thing. The reason I think she said it was because she had already made her mind up that she didn't want to be with me anymore. It almost felt like she wanted me to move on to ease the guilt of what she had done. People who cheat turn into complete strangers.
Don't blame yourself. Your partner was having an emotional affair at the very least. It's incredibly dangerous to a relationship because it divides the heart in 2. She is feeling lust and infatuation for this other man and probably brotherly/best friend love for you which has caused you to end up where you are now. It sucks, I know.
I wouldn't recommend going out on any dates - you need time to yourself. You are doing everything right. Don't contact unless you have to. Doing what is known as a 180 (Google divorce buster 180) is the right thing for this situation.
Focus on no 1 now. I would always recommend joining a gym or doing exercise as it releases feel good endorphin's. Change your appearance, treat yourself to some new clothes, take up a new hobby but most importantly, keep yourself surrounded my loved ones. Friends and family are essential in these times of crisis. Try not to be alone too much.
In all honesty, you deserve better. You deserve someone who like yourself is loyal, full of integrity and knows they would never cheat. If she did come back, how would you know you wouldn't be going through the same thing in 2, 3 or 5 years? You could be married with kids and have this happen in the future.
Keep your chin up bud - one way or the other, you'll get through it because tough times don't last but tough people do.
All the best.