Re: Marriage In Tatters!
Hello Roy,
Sorry to hear you are finding life tough at the moment.
Sometimes, we live life through rose tinted glasses - others will see things that we don't. Your defense mechanism can stop you seeing the wood for the trees. You don't want to rock the boat or jeopardise your marriage in any way and this can lead to being taken advantage of, being used as a door mat and being treated badly.
Being angry and bitter and annoyed with yourself is a waste of your precious time. Life is short and precious and you have to get on with life. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes in to hours, days to weeks and so on. People say time is the only healer - that's not true, it's what you do with the time that matters. You need to think about this. If every day is like Groundhog day then YOU have to change it. Only you can make those changes, they are unlikely to come knocking.
I wonder if what is actually holding you back could be annoyance and worry about the fact that you think about your ex all the time. You probably think that because you think about her all the time then you're not over her and need to wait until you are...but you can't seem to get over her, it becomes a vicious circle.
Your wife was a massive part of your life and always will be. Despite your bitterness about the way you were treated, you can't just flick a switch to turn of the emotions you feel from the life you had together. It's not that easy. It's ok to think about your ex but YOU have to make the choice to not let her haunt you.
You deserve to be happy, and you will be happy with someone else. Go out there and find that person. As others have said, in the future, pick someone who has good family values, morals and integrity - someone like yourself. Like often attracts like.
All the best.
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