Marriage in College

First off, I am glad I found this forum. I was looking for a good group of people to put forth my question to. I am Christian, and I am not married yet, but I am with the most amazing girl and have been thinking about a lot of things lately. Before I continue, she knows everything I have been thinking, and at this moment, we are both very in favor of getting engaged soon and getting married before we graduate college. I have about 2.5 years left of college now, and she has about the same, but if things work out the way I have been thinking, then we would be married for almost the last two before we graduate.

I want to know what the pros and cons are in all of your eyes of my decision. I am saving virginity for marriage, so this is a big factor in my decision. I am not just deciding marriage to have sex, but because I know I want to take our relationship to the next level, to the forever level. I want to know what all of you think, so please, any advice, whether its in favor or not in favor, i would love to hear. thank you.

[jools]

If you've got 2 1/2 yrs of college left, I'm guessing you're not much more than 19yrs old. If this is the case I'd personally say that you're too young to get married. I'd say take you're relationship to the "next level" but use precautions. If you love each other I can't see anything wrong with you having sex in or out of marriage. Personally I'd rather check EVERYTHING out before marrying someone! Anyway, how long have you been with her? I'd give it a couple of years before getting married. Research has shown that in long term relationships two years is about the crucial time when relationships "cool" so then you'd be making a more informed decision about "tying the knot".
Jools. X
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redheaded Webcams

Having sex before marriage simply isn't an option. This is because I said so, and God says so. So that is not going to change. I am 21, and she is 19, and we have talked a lot over the past couple days about it, and the soonest we have concluded that we want to go ahead with it would be sometime in 2007 anyway. So its not that soon. However, engagement could come much much sooner.

[Liz]

Dear Crazyinlove

It is refreshing to hear of a couple who want to wait until they get married before getting involved sexually. You will find that few people understand this decision, but that doesn't make it wrong or unhealthy.

My husband and I lived together before we got married. Over the years it has caused us some difficulties and so we were delighted when our eldest son decided that he would wait until he married. He met a lovely girl at university, who shared his faith and beliefs. They got married at the age of 21 straight after finishing university.

They were very open with us about waiting and they did share that it got increasingly difficult to wait. As they got to know each other better and their love grew they wanted to express it in a physical way, but managed to keep to their original commitment not to.

Both my husband and I were engaged to other people at University and broke up with them before marrying each other and so we recognised that it is hard to be sure you are making the right decision at that age and level of maturity. Although we felt some concern that our son and his fiancée were marrying quite young, we knew they had thought long and hard about their decision and we saw no point in them having a long engagement.

Before you take the step of getting engaged, I would suggest that you read around some of the books on marriage and perhaps do one of courses like FOCCUS. This would enable you to get to know each other better and face issues that you may well be avoiding because you are "courting". Listen to the advice of your families, pray about what you are doing and ensure that you would be able to wholeheartedly support and care for each other even in difficult times. In particular, you will need to be sure you can cope with the pressures of college education and finances, looking for employment, moving house and such things all in the early years of marriage. These things can be fun to do together, but they are also very stressful. We experienced moving house, redundancy, moving countries and family bereavements in the first few years of marriage. Marriage is not just about taking things to the next level - it's about making a commitment for life to take care of somemone, to commit to them exclusively and to do it even when times are tough.

If after thinking about all that you are sure you want to get married, then do it and enjoy - it's the best decision I ever made to marry my husband.

All the best

Liz

Dear Crazy in love,

please dont hurry up...take your time...sometimes when you're young and in love we tend to think we know everything...take your time and finish your studies and u should remember that marriage is such a huge step....you have to be emotionally, physically, mentally and financially prepared for it. So think about it...just enjoy your relationship with her right now...