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Old 6th December 2013, 02:39 PM   #16
ronnoco
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Re: Threesome?

Chosen quoted some stats on another post recently. Just had a quick look but couldn't find them but I remember her saying figures show that in a marriage, 1 in every 2 will cheat (whether discovered or not) at some point.

From memory, I think you are correct with the 50% figure as well.

I'm deeply shocked by this - it's terrible! After researching a lot over the past 5 months, It really surprises me how many people seem to lack basic morals, grounding and character to name a few things and can just give up on their marriage and often family when their head is turned.

When I left school in 1995, hardcore porn wasn't really available in the UK. Now, it's available to any child with a computer, Internet enabled phone, etc

I'm certain than in 10 years these figures will be even higher because of this relatively new problem. It's opened up a gigantic can of worms from what kids view as "normal" with sex, how you treat women, size of manhood, etc, etc and don't even get me started on the impact this has had for peadophiles.

Last edited by ronnoco; 6th December 2013 at 09:29 PM.
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Old 6th December 2013, 04:57 PM   #17
chosen
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Re: Threesome?

I agree ronnocco
It saddens me greatly to see that sexual immorality is so accepted now.
I did indeed read that in about 50% of marriages, people will cheat at some point during that marriage. This doesn't always lead to divorce of course, but very often it does.
Moral standards are so low now and seem to getting even lower, and I am sure that porn use, which is very widespread, has a large part to play in this, because sex is getting so far away from what it should be, and that is between a man and a women in marriage.

Porn, or another person in the bed, have no place in a marriage ever in my opinion.
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Old 6th December 2013, 07:11 PM   #18
Roses
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Re: Threesome?

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I'm deeply shocked by this - it's terrible!
Hi

Thank you for sharing your research results. Yes. It's horrible.
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Old 9th December 2013, 08:00 PM   #19
LibraLady
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Re: Threesome?

Well, he told me about his ex-wife and their threesomes before we married. They had a weird relationship and divorced after only a year of marriage, he wanted the divorce.

He said he asked about the threesome as a way to keep me happy since we dont have sex often and since I had a threesome way before I even met him, he thought I would still be into that.

He has alot of emotional issues that have rendered him flacid. This is such a weird issue for me because I just always thought/knew guys had to have sex very often and needed it and wanted it (sex).
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Old 9th December 2013, 08:04 PM   #20
LibraLady
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Re: Threesome?

I find alot of people want immediate gratification in their marriages and as soon as they dont get that for five minutes, that seems to be the green light they need to cheat.

On the flip side, I will play devil's advocate and say that people also need to be aware of changing after they get married. The same freak your wife/husband met is the same freak they married and looked forward to enjoying forever. And to turn into some watered down house mouse is just plain cruel........and opens the doors for others to step in.

What you wont/dont do for your spouse, another person will.
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Old 9th December 2013, 09:20 PM   #21
Roses
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Re: Threesome?

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I find alot of people want immediate gratification in their marriages and as soon as they dont get that for five minutes, that seems to be the green light they need to cheat.
Yes. I agree.
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Old 9th December 2013, 10:49 PM   #22
chosen
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Re: Threesome?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraLady View Post
I find alot of people want immediate gratification in their marriages and as soon as they dont get that for five minutes, that seems to be the green light they need to cheat.

On the flip side, I will play devil's advocate and say that people also need to be aware of changing after they get married. The same freak your wife/husband met is the same freak they married and looked forward to enjoying forever. And to turn into some watered down house mouse is just plain cruel........and opens the doors for others to step in.

What you wont/dont do for your spouse, another person will.
However we cant go against our own moral values and sense of what is and isn't acceptable just to please our spouse. There are limits and boundaries.
I would have run a mile from a guy who was into that sort of skewed sex, because I know that to me, sex is only for one man and one woman with complete faithfulness on both sides. I suppose you knew about this before you married him, and you have done it yourself in the past, so its no big surprise for you, but this sort of thing will be a disaster for the marriage(as it was with his first one).

I am assuming that he think he will get an erection with another woman there then? I would be interested in what he may say if you suggested that another man comes instead, probably not so keen then.

Last edited by chosen; 10th December 2013 at 07:37 AM.
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Old 10th December 2013, 07:18 PM   #23
pmsc69
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Re: Threesome?

Wow! I am shocked.... I won't lie. I have tried it myself but with a couple and I was much younger and curious. I was so sure that I was going to be highly aroused by it but in fact it did nothing for me and I did not enjoy it. It is true that most men would rather have 2 women in a three sum. But I can't see how this is love. This only only ever works for people who do not love each and only stay together because it suits their life style and not marriage. Personally I could not and will not do that with anyone I love. My ex girlfriend that has destroyed my trust in women asked me if I wanted wanted to do this. Correction. She said that she wanted wanted to see me with another woman and that she also wanted me to make love to her while she enjoyed the other other woman. Normally I would get aroused by that but because I had strong feelings for her and could not see another person (man or woman) touch her in that way I refused. She got upset about it and commented that it is every man's dream to have two beautiful women in their their bed. The only reply I gave her was "if I was single and I I did not love you I most probably would do because I would not care about you. Because I love you I could not seen another person touch you like that. It would hurt and destroy us". She still did not seem happy about my response. So I finished off with "how would you feel if I actually enjoyed it and then started seeing her behind your back or left you for her? Would you feel good about it?" That seemed to work as she she never mentioned it again after that.

So in theory.... I think that most people do not think about long term or the affect it can have on a relationship. There was a couple on the news some years ago where they had a three sum with another man. The husband insisted on it and persuaded her into it. She never wanted it but did it to please him. Well when it happened he got so jealous that she was enjoying herself with another man that he beat them them both and put them into hospital. Goes to show that people do not think about these things.
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Old 10th December 2013, 08:48 PM   #24
chosen
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Re: Threesome?

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Originally Posted by pmsc69 View Post
Wow! I am shocked.... I won't lie. I have tried it myself but with a couple and I was much younger and curious. I was so sure that I was going to be highly aroused by it but in fact it did nothing for me and I did not enjoy it. It is true that most men would rather have 2 women in a three sum. But I can't see how this is love. This only only ever works for people who do not love each and only stay together because it suits their life style and not marriage. Personally I could not and will not do that with anyone I love. My ex girlfriend that has destroyed my trust in women asked me if I wanted wanted to do this. Correction. She said that she wanted wanted to see me with another woman and that she also wanted me to make love to her while she enjoyed the other other woman. Normally I would get aroused by that but because I had strong feelings for her and could not see another person (man or woman) touch her in that way I refused. She got upset about it and commented that it is every man's dream to have two beautiful women in their their bed. The only reply I gave her was "if I was single and I I did not love you I most probably would do because I would not care about you. Because I love you I could not seen another person touch you like that. It would hurt and destroy us". She still did not seem happy about my response. So I finished off with "how would you feel if I actually enjoyed it and then started seeing her behind your back or left you for her? Would you feel good about it?" That seemed to work as she she never mentioned it again after that.

So in theory.... I think that most people do not think about long term or the affect it can have on a relationship. There was a couple on the news some years ago where they had a three sum with another man. The husband insisted on it and persuaded her into it. She never wanted it but did it to please him. Well when it happened he got so jealous that she was enjoying herself with another man that he beat them them both and put them into hospital. Goes to show that people do not think about these things.
Firstly she was very wrong in saying that it is every mans dream to have two women in his bed, it isn't. That's what the media and the porn makers want us to think. Its a lie. Most good men are more than happy with their wife/partner.
Second don't let that one mixed up lady destroy your trust in women. She is one lady out of millions upon millions. If I had let what my father and ex husband did destroy my trust in men, I wouldnt be happily married now to a wonderful man.

A marriage without faithfulness isn't a marriage . When we marry we promise to be faithful and to forsake all others.
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Old 10th December 2013, 10:17 PM   #25
pmsc69
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Re: Threesome?

Quote:
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Firstly she was very wrong in saying that it is every mans dream to have two women in his bed, it isn't. That's what the media and the porn makers want us to think. Its a lie. Most good men are more than happy with their wife/partner.
Second don't let that one mixed up lady destroy your trust in women. She is one lady out of millions upon millions. If I had let what my father and ex husband did destroy my trust in men, I wouldnt be happily married now to a wonderful man.

A marriage without faithfulness isn't a marriage . When we marry we promise to be faithful and to forsake all others.
I totally agree. Thing is that it is not my thing I tried it once and never again. I didn't even interact with them.

Just seems strange that my ex wife cheated on me for over a year with the same man and my last girlfriend cheated on from day one. Thing is that all thd red flags were there and thi I the case here too. As they say... not all tht gitters is gold.
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Old 11th December 2013, 11:00 AM   #26
chosen
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Re: Threesome?

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I totally agree. Thing is that it is not my thing I tried it once and never again. I didn't even interact with them.

Just seems strange that my ex wife cheated on me for over a year with the same man and my last girlfriend cheated on from day one. Thing is that all thd red flags were there and thi I the case here too. As they say... not all tht gitters is gold.
Yes, you are right. In the end its the persons integrity and character that really matter, and that will dictate whether or not you will have a good relationship.

Both of my brothers two wives cheated on him. The second one with 4 different men. She is now married to the forth man, and they moved in together mere weeks after his wife died, so they had clearly been cheating when she was still alive. I will be interested to see if it lasts long term.

For the last few years he has been with a lovely lady, and they are very happy. She has a good character and lots of integrity.
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Old 11th December 2013, 11:09 AM   #27
Roses
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Re: Threesome?

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Both of my brothers two wives cheated on him. The second one with 4 different men. She is now married to the forth man, and they moved in together mere weeks after his wife died, so they had clearly been cheating when she was still alive. I will be interested to see if it lasts long term.
Chosen, are they also Christians? maybe, "lasting long term" wouldn't even come into it.
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Old 11th December 2013, 11:13 AM   #28
Roses
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Re: Threesome?

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Thing is that all thd red flags were there and thi I the case here too. As they say... not all tht gitters is gold.
Yes. It's sad but I have to agree with you.

Hope things will improve soon for this lady, who has a small child with him.
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Old 11th December 2013, 04:55 PM   #29
pmsc69
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Re: Threesome?

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Hope things will improve soon for this lady, who has a small child with him.
Was this meant for me or the original poster?
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Old 11th December 2013, 05:31 PM   #30
chosen
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Re: Threesome?

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Chosen, are they also Christians? maybe, "lasting long term" wouldn't even come into it.

No they are not Christians, but my brother does believe in complete faithfulness in marriage. He has never cheated.
Christians do cheat as well however, my husbands ex did.
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