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Old 11th August 2016, 04:11 PM   #16
ralfgarnett
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Re: Please pray for me

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Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
Fine Ralf but it will be between you and God as there is only one mediator between man and God and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.
Hi Raymond, I have discussed this and other things this morning with my new priest, and he explained it much as you did so I think I get it now, thank you for taking the time to explain.

On the subject of my new church, it is a much livelier place than previous, people of all ages are involved, all sorts of things going on, and the priest himself is a very nice man younger than me and with a keen sense of humour and is very happy to have me involved, I think this could help me somewhat as I continue my on-going battle with depression, anxiety, and heartache and pain, keeping my fingers crossed, I didn't go looking for this church it kind of found me, I wandered in off the street a few weeks ago and literally took it from there.
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Old 12th August 2016, 10:12 AM   #17
Raymond
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Re: Please pray for me

Sounds good to me Ralf. God might have his hand on you. If they lift up the name of Jesus then it might be a good place to believe in Him and ask Him into your life. I hope and pray that you really come into that. He can be your strength as well as mine.
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Old 13th August 2016, 01:50 PM   #18
ralfgarnett
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Re: Please pray for me

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Sounds good to me Ralf. God might have his hand on you. If they lift up the name of Jesus then it might be a good place to believe in Him and ask Him into your life. I hope and pray that you really come into that. He can be your strength as well as mine.
Thank you Raymond, i have always had a faith and a belief, however, over the past 2 years or so i have questioned that faith, as very selfishly I have felt abandoned and ignored by god, however I can feel my faith becoming stronger again, and when I have these feelings of abandonment I always think of something that Chosen has said that was very wise, and that is that god allows us free will, and while he doesn't want us to be unhappy or for marriages to end, he has no will or power to prevent anyone from doing what they choose to do, he could neither stop my wife from leaving nor bring her back in to my life and our marriage, and when I think of this it helps me to come back down to Earth and realise that it's not my fault and I did nothing wrong, and neither could I of prevented what happened, it's a very good realisation grounding tool.
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Old 13th August 2016, 07:56 PM   #19
chosen
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Re: Please pray for me

Sounds positive ralf. Are you still in that awful limbo situation with your wife? Not married not divorced?
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Old 13th August 2016, 08:57 PM   #20
ralfgarnett
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Re: Please pray for me

Hi Chosen. yes nothing has changed one bit in any respect, still hiding her light under her bushel, no D ever mentioned ever thank god, got a great new priest though, she mailed me Thursday nice as pie asking for certain things of importance to her from the house, good luck with that after the simple things she has denied me recently over the past few years, in therapy 3 times a week now and only this week have learned a couple of things about myself that I never knew nor thought about, considered, and never acknowledged, therapy consists of 2 times general grief / talking therapy, the other a weekly anxiety support group, when will it end ?, I don't want all this, I just want a normal usual life and not to wake up every day wishing I hadn't woken up again. I keep asking god to let me keep on sleeping or to help me, but I guess he is far too busy dealing with more important things, lets face it the world is very unsettled at the moment for him to cast his eye and attention over some miserable screwed up insignificant bloke in a grotty run down Northern town.

Last edited by ralfgarnett; 13th August 2016 at 09:10 PM.
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Old 13th August 2016, 10:59 PM   #21
chosen
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Re: Please pray for me

God is everywhere. He is with everyone, He isnt limited as you and I are to one place at one time.
He is very interested and concerned in every detail of our lives. I see you have a nice new church, thats a step forward on its own. Sometimes healing is gradual, mine was, and yours seems that way as well. Its good that you are geting so much support, have you had that holiday to Malta yet?


I do wonder if the fact that you are still in limbo with your marriage may not be helping, if you sit down and talk to her about the future and any plans she has, surely that would help?To know where you are would surely help you move forward. Is all her stuff still in your house?Are you going to let her have some of it?

Well you may be in an northern town, but we are now in the midlands since May when we moved here from the south. Houses between 40-50% cheaper here than where we were. No regrets at all, its a nice place we are in, and its sometimes a very positive thing to move somewhere new.
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Old 15th August 2016, 09:21 AM   #22
Raymond
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Re: Please pray for me

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Thank you Raymond, i have always had a faith and a belief, however, over the past 2 years or so i have questioned that faith, as very selfishly I have felt abandoned and ignored by god, however I can feel my faith becoming stronger again, and when I have these feelings of abandonment I always think of something that Chosen has said that was very wise, and that is that god allows us free will, and while he doesn't want us to be unhappy or for marriages to end, he has no will or power to prevent anyone from doing what they choose to do, he could neither stop my wife from leaving nor bring her back in to my life and our marriage, and when I think of this it helps me to come back down to Earth and realise that it's not my fault and I did nothing wrong, and neither could I of prevented what happened, it's a very good realisation grounding tool.
That's very true Ralph. We sometimes think that God can make someone do something because we pray it. That is really manipulation and doesn't work. I believe we can pray for others for good for them but they still have freewill to receive or reject it. We can pray for ourselves also for God to help us and He will even though it is not always instant.
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Old 15th August 2016, 11:49 AM   #23
chosen
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Re: Please pray for me

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That's very true Ralph. We sometimes think that God can make someone do something because we pray it. That is really manipulation and doesn't work. I believe we can pray for others for good for them but they still have freewill to receive or reject it. We can pray for ourselves also for God to help us and He will even though it is not always instant.
True. My husband fasted and prayed one day a week for a year to save his first marriage when they were going through a separation(which she wanted not Him). They did get back together, but not long after that she met a 3 times divorced non Christian man who she thought was 'the one' and divorced him. Well his prayer wasnt answered you may think, but it enabled him to get out of a marriage were his wife didnt love or want him any more, and into a marriage were his wife loves him loads. God will always bring good out of bad.
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Old 16th August 2016, 08:24 PM   #24
ralfgarnett
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Re: Please pray for me

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
God is everywhere. He is with everyone, He isnt limited as you and I are to one place at one time.
He is very interested and concerned in every detail of our lives. I see you have a nice new church, thats a step forward on its own. Sometimes healing is gradual, mine was, and yours seems that way as well. Its good that you are geting so much support, have you had that holiday to Malta yet?


I do wonder if the fact that you are still in limbo with your marriage may not be helping, if you sit down and talk to her about the future and any plans she has, surely that would help?To know where you are would surely help you move forward. Is all her stuff still in your house?Are you going to let her have some of it?

Well you may be in an northern town, but we are now in the midlands since May when we moved here from the south. Houses between 40-50% cheaper here than where we were. No regrets at all, its a nice place we are in, and its sometimes a very positive thing to move somewhere new.
HI Chosen no not been over yet, might go next month for a week, but I will see how I feel, I am very delicately balanced still and don't want to upset the apple cart if avoidable.

With regards marriage, I don't know if I am in limbo, I think deep down inside I know the chances aren't great, we have never fallen out as you know, she even mailed me last week asking for a few things she needs for work, I have posted them on, I'm not harbouring any grudges or animosity towards her, how could I ?, alongside her I had the happiest, fullest, most contented and loving time of my entire life and I will be forever grateful for all that she has shared with me, I wish her no ill, and if what she is doing makes her happy then good luck to her, I wish her well.

I am in talking therapy twice a week now with 2 lovely incisive ladies who seem to get me, I am also in an anxiety support group so doing the best I can to get emotionally well but its a slog at times, but I'm no quitter and will keep on fighting to the end, last week we briefly touched on the 5 stages of grief, I still haven't one through acceptance or any tangible anger that we know of.

Yes her gear is still here, I rarely think about it these days, but now and again I will touch something, remember, and then start crying again, but all part of the process I guess.

Yes involved with a much livelier church and a younger priest, very nice chap and very caring too, I didn't find it, it found me a si literally went of wandering and walked in to somewhere I have known for decades but have never even thought about visiting, glad I did though, I think I felt gods hand on my shoulder that morning.

Glad things are working out for you in the Midlands and hope your husbands work situation is improving, as a Northerner it's definitely a step in the right geographical direction, now your North of the Watford gap we can work on Northerifying you with pints of best bitter, chips and gravy, and proper Crown Green Bowling, joking aside, I haven't totally dismissed the idea of moving myself, I just keep chickening out, better the devil you know and all that, ciao for now.

RG
xx
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