Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  
Old 2nd April 2016, 06:20 AM   #16
Foreverever
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8
Re: Jealousy/Anger

Like I said previously, of course there are other problems. She thinks buying the kids toys once or twice every week is a good way of showing them of her love, whereas I think doing so will only spoil them and indirectly teaching them not to cherish the toys they already have. She buys herself new clothes once every weekly or fortnightly... minor differences like that create friction between the two of us.

I do have female friends, but as soon as I sense that they are coming onto me, even if my instincts are wrong, I will cut off or minimise contact with them. That is how I would do it in order not to mislead or create any misunderstanding.

Maybe we do not know how to find a middle ground? I honestly cannot figure it out. Before our marriage, she was in close contact with another guy. The guy was into her, but she told me I was overthinking. They went away doing some adrenaline activities, and I was only told about it when she was back. We argued, she was upset but she cut him off. I thought history would not repeat itself, until now. She keeps saying I have a trust issue and I cannot move on from the past. And even if she stopped contacting this guy, but if she makes another good male friend in the future, she can foresee this happening again. Like I said, having male friends is acceptable, it is unacceptable when boundaries are crossed.

She has decided to pull the plug on our marriage, her reason is that she is unhappy with me and I destroyed our marriage. Where we live, the divorce papers will take effect after two years, even if they are signed by just one party. It is time to accept the fact that I stuffed up our marriage.

As for her beliefs, well, I do have a friend who goes to church and who is an active participant, he has slept with other men's wives. And another Christian friend who uses prostitutes behind his wife's back. Both of these friends seem to be happily married to others who do not know about their secrets. So who am I to judge? All I know is that I am lost, heart broken and overwhelmed by the void in my heart.

I will keep praying though and get support from my trusted friends. Keep me in your prayers and thank you all for your advice. God bless you all.
Foreverever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2016, 09:04 AM   #17
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Jealousy/Anger

Those 2 men you speak of clearly dont know God or their Bible. God clearly tells us that sex outside marriage is adultery, which is a very serious sin. There will be serious consequences for those men. I wish someone would tell those poor deceived wives. I wouldnt want to be friends with people like that, who clearly have no moral values.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd April 2016, 10:06 AM   #18
Raymond
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Jealousy/Anger

I don't think you destroyed the marriage by the sound of it. You have made mistakes but that doesn't mean you destroyed the marriage. She had an awful lot to do with it from what I can see. Sounds to me she wants free rein and doesn't honour a marriage relationship. This behaviour was apparent before you married her and should have been a red light. It is very sad but it has not been played out yet. I agree that children can be spoiled by giving them lots of toys as a so called expression of love.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th August 2016, 06:15 PM   #19
Foreverever
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 8
Re: Jealousy/Anger

Hi guys,

It has been a few months after all the drama, the pain has subsided somewhat. I try not to think about what happened, but I still get flashbacks. It's pretty draining, but I am slowly becoming more immune to it.

Anyway, she has filed for divorce. Not sure if she is with that guy now. Don't really want to know in order to keep my sanity.

Now that I am out of my depression, I am wondering to myself. Would my marriage have been saved, if only I had not been so jealous? Was I wrong of me to ask her not to reply his texts or answer his calls? Was I too manipulative for not letting her have such a 'good guy friend'? I think it was wrong to post an anonymous Valentine's message for a married woman. But erm, what would I know, right? I know I should have trusted her. But when her words didn't match her actions, I think I had every right to be suspicious. Anyway, I tried asking her to go to marriage counselling with me, she refused. She said she felt abused by me emotionally. I told her I felt the same way, so it would be better if we go to counselling. She didn't answer me, so I took her silence as a no.

I still think about her a lot. As soon as I wake up, she is on my mind. I wonder how she is, now. Whether she is happier without me; how will I explain to my kids when they are grown about our divorce. There is no ill will against her, and if she chooses to go out with whoever, she can. In all honesty, I want her to be happy. I have caught myself thinking or whispering, a few times a day, 'Take care, (her name).'

And if her friends think I am immature or manipulative, well, I would love to see how they would react if someone texted their spouse every single day for a prolonged period. I mean, everyone can be liberal, until the same thing happens to them right?

I truly wish her the best and hope my kids will grow up fine and emotionally balanced. As for that guy, he has a baby sister. I just hope no woman will start texting her husband on the daily and cause any drama in her marriage.

Time to be selfish and meet other women I guess...
Foreverever is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer