Dear Joanne,
Do you think that you have the courage to tell your husband how you feel about yourself and how important it is that he loves you and finds you attractive. I know that is risky. You probably fear that he will confirm your low opinion of yourself, but surely he loves you for who you are as a whole person, not just because you look good.
Remember that you are surrounded by messages from the media that to be beautiful you have to be slim and fit, with perfect skin, and a body that heals well and is athletic. Unless you are able to be sexually athletic and accomplished you haven't arrived.
These are lies. The majority of us doesn't like something about the way we look, too big too small, our nose is too big, our breasts too small, our skin too greasy, hair on our legs too thick. Few of us have the figures of the film stars or the money to have the plastic surgery they indulge in. Yet we can still find happiness and acceptance in our relationships and come to terms with the way we are made.
To add to that having babies or surgery can seem like an invasion of our privacy and our person. It can seem like a loss of dignity. We want to push people away because we feel sore and vulnerable emotionally as well as physically. For some having a caesarian section can touch us deeply as if we have somehow failed as a woman. It's reflected in the language we use about not having the baby "naturally". Thank God for the technique that ensured your baby was born live and well and you came through it all.
You are a special attractive person, who needs reassurance that you are loveable and valued by your husband. Unless you dare to allow him to know your need for his love, he may not be able to guess what is wrong. Try and take the risk and trust in his love for you.
All the best
Kate