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Old 25th August 2013, 02:16 PM   #1
Unloved
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Pray for Me Please

My H is divorcing me and I still love him and I am having an extremely hard time accepting it and living with 23 years of memories together. I am in excruciating pain and feel my life is over. Please pray for me.
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Old 25th August 2013, 02:34 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Unloved I am so sorry.
My marriage ended very suddenly after 23 years as well, and its awful. Its as if the whole future that you thought you had is gone.

I am here to tell you that eventually the pain will lessen, and that there is life after divorce. I was a single mum for 6 years and then met another man.
I have now been very happily married to him for nearly 8 years. I am happier now than I ever was, and I will pray for you that eventually you will see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you have some support from friends and family, especially as you are a carer for your dad.
I didn't have much emotional or practical support and that made it harder.
Do you have children?

I pray that God will lead you forward, and that you will be aware of Him comforting you, providing for you and looking after you.
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Old 25th August 2013, 02:55 PM   #3
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Thank you Chosen.

I have no children. Two pets, a guinea pig and bunny. My Dad lives upstairs and I have three good friends and have found a wonderful councilor. But I am alone most of the time.

I try to get out but after 23 years everywhere I go reminds me of when he and I went there together. I start to cry and just want to come home. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep.

Everyone tells me, as you have, that it will get better but I am having a hard time seeing it. I don't want to marry again. If I survive this I can never go through it again.

Thank you for your post and prayers.

Unloved
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Old 25th August 2013, 03:13 PM   #4
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Would it be denial if I prayed and asked for prayers for him to come back to me?

He was always a good man and loving until the last two years. I think he is going through a midlife crisis.
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Old 25th August 2013, 04:46 PM   #5
chosen
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Re: Pray for Me Please

You can pray for what you like, and as he is still your husband at this time then of course pray for him to come to his senses and come back. Once the divorce is done though, you would need to accept it.

I wasn't sure I would marry again, and it was 3 or 4 years after the marriage ended before I could even contemplate doing that, but then I really wanted to. I was only 42 when the marriage ended, and didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life.
I suppose that I left it up to God, and being a Christian, I only wanted to marry another Christian. Anyway when I met my husband, I knew he was the man for me and that was that.

I understand that you cant see that it will get better, its extremely painful and traumatic. Its still early days for you but hang in there. I am glad that you have some support..
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Old 25th August 2013, 05:41 PM   #6
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Thank you. I am praying and ask for others to pray as well.
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Old 29th September 2013, 09:28 AM   #7
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Re: Pray for Me Please

How old is he?

Mid life crisis...or he "met" someone else (is this likely to be the case?)

of course, I pray for you.
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Old 3rd October 2013, 11:29 AM   #8
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Re: Pray for Me Please

He is 45.

I don't know if it's midlife crisis or AW. Maybe both. He started talking about a "friend" at work at about the same time as he started acting distant. Working out obsessively and dieting.

I am devastated and feel my life is over. He's been gone for five months.

Thank you for your prayers.
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Old 3rd October 2013, 01:03 PM   #9
Raymond
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Re: Pray for Me Please

What's AW? Do you mean OW? It sounds like another woman at work to me. If he has gone five months then I think you need to move on and have a funeral for him as you will not heal properly until you have done that.

We cannot manipulate other people even through prayer as God has given them freewill and free choice. There is no harm in praying but there is no guarantee that he will repond to God's promptings. Most of the world doesn't. However you know him better than I do.
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Old 3rd October 2013, 04:47 PM   #10
chosen
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Re: Pray for Me Please

I agree with Raymond. Talking about a friend, working out, dieting and acting distant are classic signs of an affair.
God wont and cant force anyone to do anything but He will care for you in this mess.

Is your husband a Christian? If he is, then the pastor or church elders need to go to him and challenge him on the extreme seriousness of what he is doing.
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Old 4th October 2013, 12:29 AM   #11
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Yes, by AW I meant another woman. She is married with children and from what I know of her is happily married. I believe it was an emotional affair.

He is a Catholic but not faithful. Obviously, the vows we took on front of the priest mean nothing to him.

I understand he had free will. I also believe he is making a huge mistake but I know there's nothing I can do.

I have severe depression.
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Old 4th October 2013, 06:43 AM   #12
chosen
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Re: Pray for Me Please

if she is happily married then why is she doing this?
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Old 4th October 2013, 09:11 AM   #13
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Re: Pray for Me Please

I believe my H fell for her-I don't know why she's doing what she's doing. If she really just considered him a friend. Maybe I'm wrong and she will/has left her H.
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Old 4th October 2013, 10:39 AM   #14
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Unloved

I bet the reality eventually starts to set in sooner or later with OW/AW.

Your h may eventually wake up from this "affair fog". How long has this been going on? Where is he staying if the OW is also married?

My thoughts are with you.
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Old 4th October 2013, 02:00 PM   #15
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Thank you.

I really don't understand what happened myself. He started acting distant about two years ago, the same time I started to hear this woman's name all the time. Alarm bells went off. They were going to go walking together after work... I put my foot down to that happening. But then they were playing Internet games together over the Internet. She would call his cell. I was told "they were just friends". Met her and her husband. They seemed happy.

He became more distant and then emotionally abusive. I am sole caregiver for my 90 year old father and was also working two part time jobs but he would scream at me I wasn't doing enough to help out. Wouldn't take me anywhere. It was like he couldn't stand the sight of me. Because I wasn't her?

One night I went to the computer after he'd left for work to find an email he'd sent to a lawyer about a divorce. Went to his job to confront him. Got nowhere. Two days of not speaking he came home after seeing two lawyers and a settlement written up. Said he wasn't happy and yes the famous "I love you but I'm not in love with you". Refused counseling. Packed his things and told me he was going to stay with his brother.

He rented an apt. up the street and was trying to hide from me where he was living, but I went to my lawyer and found out through legal papers where he was. He had now moved again and because he didn't like the terms of our first agreement filed divorce papers. This has cost me a lot more in legal fees as my lawyer had to file a counter suit. I am running out of money. My Dad and I are eating at poverty level.

I am being forced into and paying for a divorce I didn't want. He has a family member representing him for free.

I have not seen him in all this time. I really don't know what he's doing or who he's with. I feel it's best to have no contact.

I am in counseling and on anti-depressants but still cry every day.
I don't understand what happened. I had my whole world pulled out from under me and it is taking a toll on my Dad as well.
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