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Old 24th March 2012, 12:11 PM   #28
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: brink of seperation

You have many strands going on here Jan. Your baby being awake at night isn't helping. It's great that your mum can be a little help. I know that your husband has faults. So have I and so have you. Although your counsellor sounds nice I don't think it is helpful to say what would you change about your partner? As you say they have good points too that we need to be reminded of. A lot of marriage is about acceptance of the other in spite of their faults as we would want to be accepted with our faults. Not that we don't try and change but it isn't the others job to change us by pressure or control. My wife is a night person and I am an early person. She is trying to change herself because she admits that a lot of the late time is wasted when she goes past a certain point and sometimes she hasn't the discipline to go to bed. She is a lot better now than she has ever been without me saying anything. She struggles with things that are natural for me but it works the other way as well and I may be struggling with things she takes for granted. We are supposed to be a team in the end.

It's good that you have acceptance of your husband in spite of things that you would change and also that you are encouraging him. Maybe words of affirmation may be his love language and you might be able to do a lot of good using that. He must know that you need rest and probably battles with his priorities but I know that you cannot force it.

I wouldn't try and do too much. He must accept your limitations caused by not getting enough rest. He should be able to see that. The baby is important.

Healing might be a battle sometimes but don't give up your faith that God heals and wants to heal. It's part of His nature. I don't think we can treat Him like a vending machine though. If we cultivate relationship it will be part of it to be healed. His word doesn't lie. It's great that you are continuing praying. One cannot underestimate that. I am sure that God will be working in your husband answering your prayers although he has freewill whether to respond or not.
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