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Old 26th June 2012, 05:42 PM   #61
Raymond
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

I think the important thing is what is going on in your mind when you are doing it. If one is fantasising about other women then it can be a type of mental adultery in my view. Personally I cannot see the point if my wife is living with me. I have heard it said that it is ok if you have a higher sex drive than your wife. Mmm I think it is healthier for her to do something. Sex should always be a shared thing in my view. If one must do it then think about the wife, but then again what is the point of that if she is available.
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Old 13th November 2013, 05:28 PM   #62
LibraLady
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

Well, what if the husband doesnt make love to the wife and she masturbates often rather than cheat?
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Old 17th November 2013, 03:11 AM   #63
1aokgal
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

Sounds like a good idea as a coping mechanism, short term, but self gratification is not a long term solution for a frustrating sexless marriage. This is an especially sad commentary, if both are meeting Their own needs, and are not only physically, but emotionally distant.

I'd do some confrontation on why there is no sex before the behavior becomes a set way of life. It is unfair that one person forces a sexless way of life on another. There is also the possibility that the one who has withdrawn, meets their needs with another person outside the marriage. One has to be a detective to get answers. Sometimes those answers mean the end of a marriage or the end of normal expectations.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 17th November 2013 at 08:51 AM.
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Old 18th November 2013, 08:33 PM   #64
chosen
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

[QUOTE=LibraLady;76979]Well, what if the husband doesnt make love to the wife and she masturbates often rather than cheat?[/QUOTE]

Cheating is a choice, and isn't something that we HAVE to do if we arent having sex in the marriage.
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Old 25th November 2013, 05:29 PM   #65
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

We all make choices in our marriages, but we must realize that our choices affect our spouses, wether they know it or not.

We are all responsible for our own actions. I know that if I choose to get sex elsewhere, its MY choice and I wouldnt say that my spouse pushed me to it and vice versa.
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Old 25th November 2013, 06:18 PM   #66
Raymond
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

[QUOTE=LibraLady;76979]Well, what if the husband doesnt make love to the wife and she masturbates often rather than cheat?[/QUOTE]

It's easy for me to give advice not being in that position. If it happened to me no doubt I'd be sorely tempted to meet the need in a wrong way. That is why the scripture says the husband does not have power over his body but the wife does and vice versa. It also says make sure you do that so that you won't be tempted. Have sex together that is.

Thinking about that I would discuss it with my wife as opportunity came up non stop to let her know how important it is. Somehow you have to get it across to him how important it is ED or not. Could you get him on here or is that too near the mark for you?

As for mb who am I to judge? I could not guarantee that I would not do it in such mitigating circumstances. It is not really about that it is about getting the sex going properly with your husband. If he watches porn and mb's there is obviously a drive there that is being misdirected.
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Old 28th November 2013, 08:12 PM   #67
Roses
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

I often think that men are very complex.

Hope you don't mind me asking this Libra. Was it a mutual decision to have a child together? (I know it's a sensitive question..)

I asked this because he could be worried that you were going to get pregnant again? I do sometimes hear that some men aren't quite prepared to Fatherhood and they mentally struggle.
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Old 29th November 2013, 07:33 AM   #68
chosen
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

[QUOTE=LibraLady;77144]We all make choices in our marriages, but we must realize that our choices affect our spouses, wether they know it or not.

We are all responsible for our own actions. I know that if I choose to get sex elsewhere, its MY choice and I wouldnt say that my spouse pushed me to it and vice versa.[/QUOTE]

Yes but it would further damage your marriage. I suppose I can never understand a woman wanting sex with a stranger. We are programmed to need that loving relationship to go with the sex. To me, sex without love isn't worth bothering with. Thats just me.
Far better to work on the marriage and get some professional counselling.
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Old 29th November 2013, 02:00 PM   #69
Raymond
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Re: Make love to your wife or masturbate ??? my husband prefers the later choice

I think that many seek love through sex outside of marriage but don't really find it. If one has a very high drive they would find it more difficult not to stray if the needs were not met within marriage however wrong it was.
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