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Old 14th July 2014, 01:48 PM   #1
1977ljd
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Should I be upset???

Is it ok for single female coworkers to be texting a married man. I trust my husband, but he has these two single female coworkers texting him quite a bit. We were on vacation and one of them wouldn't stop texting him, so I asked him about it and he said it's work related. I looked at my records and they talk and text alot. And get this, he has to call and wake them up for work in the mornings, two grown women need a married man to call and wake them up for work. I just don't understand how he would think that is OK ,or that I would be fine with it. But now that I have found out he is upset with me and said that can't NO WOMAN TELL HIM WHO HE CAN AND CAN'T TALK TO! I thought I was more than just some woman.... my heart is really hurt because I know he's not going to stop them from calling or texting him.
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Old 14th July 2014, 04:16 PM   #2
1aokgal
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Re: Should I be upset???

Dear Lady...

You have a right to be upset with your husband over this texting! How dare he say "no woman tells him who he can text." HE is the one out of line. It is obvious he has encouraged and enjoys the attention of these women. It is particularly troubling that he calls these women in the morning. How playful of him! The guy is flirting and playing loose with his marriage AND his job if this little gossip tale gets around (and I am sure it will.)

Don't let this incident get by, as he acts all righteous. He puts you as the bad guy for confronting him. This behavior and his attitude, shows he does not respect his marital vows to engage in behavior that is clearly inappropriate. Ask him to turn this around. How would he like you texting other men from work? I am sorry to say this, but he doesn't get it! That is a very bad sign for your marriage. Most good guys would apologize and alter behavior. He seems not to care how you react. I would NOT let this pass. If you have to throw an unpleasant "hissy fit" to show you are indeed upset, then do it.
It sounds as if he is a player. Has there been any other incidents like this in your marriage?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 14th July 2014 at 08:23 PM.
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Old 14th July 2014, 05:01 PM   #3
chosen
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Re: Should I be upset???

NO its not OK. I would be very concerned if my husband were doing this. I am not sure what you can do about it except to make it clear that any texting/contact with them outside work hours is a no no. Waking up two grown adult women is totally crazy. What is he, their mother?

I think you may need to try and get some counselling together as it doesnt sound as if he is going to respect you on this. Their relationship is way past what is acceptable for a married man. I suspect that he likes the attention they give him, but its incredibly rude of him to text them when you are around and especially on holiday!!!!
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Old 22nd July 2014, 03:04 PM   #4
1977ljd
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Re: Should I be upset???

One of the girls is only 19, what on earth does a happily married man have to talk about with a 19 year old child? So I asked him and he said, we talk about other things besides work, but at 10:30 at night, I don't think so! He said they talk about how her "babydaddy" is treating her and the kids, which I tell him that is not his business, but he says that they are all like family that's why they are always talking and texting. But I just can't get him to understand that friendly texting and calling can lead to other things.
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Old 22nd July 2014, 04:48 PM   #5
chosen
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Re: Should I be upset???

he is playing with fire. Maybe you can get some marriage counselling together so that he can be made to understand what a fool he is being. This is how affairs begin. Work colleagues dont need to text each other outside work, and its worrying the fact that he KNOWS how unhappy you are and he still does it.
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Old 22nd July 2014, 08:10 PM   #6
1aokgal
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Re: Should I be upset???

It sounds to me like a pile of lies/smokescreen he tells you to cloak the "grooming of that young girl" so she becomes emotionally dependent on the "wise, kind" older man. She already has made a moral lapse of judgment to have a child outside of marriage so it doesn't sound like she has much judgment in her choice of friends.

He is FAR out of line and if his trolling the female employess gets around the gossip pool he may be needing to fond another job. Don't be a fool, put you foot down on this bigtime! I'd let him know you may discuss this with his boss, as you are disturbed by these dynamics. I would not do that, as it woul indeed, be his walking ticket out of that workplace. Threaten to do that and he may rethink this conduct and cut the contact.

He is sure to follow through with other bad behavior if he is getting so "lovey-dovey" with this girl. Sorry, but he sounds like a super loser! How old is this guy? He either sounds like a mid life crisis guy or a young, flirting fool. He must think he is a real stud. Disgusting behavior in my mind! I would say in a short time you may have to deal with a cheater, as well as a liar. He lacks basic common sense and respect for you is zero.

I'm very sorry for you. You must be really upset and heartsick. Don't let him get away with this behavior before it becomes a situation and he decides he needs to go take care of that dumb girl.
I bet this is already talk around that work place.
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Old 22nd July 2014, 08:10 PM   #7
1aokgal
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Re: Should I be upset???

It sounds to me like a pile of lies/smokescreen he tells you to cloak the "grooming of that young girl" so she becomes emotionally dependent on the "wise, kind" older man. She already has made a moral lapse of judgment to have a child outside of marriage so it doesn't sound like she has much judgment in her choice of friends.

He is FAR out of line and if his trolling the female employess gets around the gossip pool he may be needing to find another job. Don't be a fool, put your foot down on this big time! I'd let him know you may discuss this with his boss, as you are disturbed by these dynamics. I would not do that, as it would indeed, be his walking ticket out of that workplace. Threaten to do that though, and he may rethink this conduct and cut the contact.

He is sure to follow through with other bad behavior if he is getting so "lovey-dovey" with this girl. Sorry, but he sounds like a super loser! How old is this guy? He either sounds like a mid life crisis guy or a young, flirting fool. He must think he is a real stud. Disgusting behavior in my mind! I would say in a short time you may have to deal with a cheater, as well as a liar. He lacks basic common sense plus respect for you is zero.

I'm very sorry for you. You must be really upset and heartsick. Don't let him get away with this behavior before it becomes a situation and he decides he needs to go take care of that dumb girl.
Can you imagine these girls talk about his early AM calls in the office? That behavior would not be tolerated in most work places. Some might say his behavior with these women even borders on sexual harassment behavior. There are classes on proper behavior in the workplace because of lawsuits filed by some of these women. Employers are very leery about chance of such a suit filed.
He is also a married man and that behavior will lose him a job. That would put you in a bad position with a husband out of work (and a poor work reference.) Get this through his head before this blows up.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 23rd July 2014 at 04:55 PM.
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