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Old 4th August 2010, 12:09 PM   #16
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Re: Living together before marriage

Just thought I'd add my two-pennyworth...

I believe that mariage should come before children. Not for any religious reason; partly because of the law of the land in the UK (both partners are better protected legally when married) but also I just have a gut feeling that's right - for me, anyway.

Co-habiting - I'd agree with it on the whole, but if one wants to get married then there's no point in letting co-habitation drift on...and on... (I've learnt that lesson the hard way and men do seem to the be the guilty party in those situations, on the whole!). I believe it's right to 'test the waters' before you enter into a serious contract with another person, and I also believe it's ok to have sex before marriage - you never know, your dearly beloved might turn out to have some bizarre sexual fetish you can't handle!
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Old 4th August 2010, 07:34 PM   #17
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Living together before marriage

Wiggle for me as a Christian there is no way that I would or could 'test the waters' before marriage . Also I wouldnt marry a man who thought this was OK. if we allow God to lead us to the right man, as he did with me, then we dont need to fear that they are going to have a weird sexual fantasy or whatever.
To me sex is for marriage only.
I dont get why a couple who have been living together for a few years suddenly decide to marry? My neice is marrying next year and and has already been living with her man for about 3 years. Either marry first or why even bother? I will feel very strange going to her wedding knowing this, and what to buy them? They have everything they need because they have been sharing a home for all that time?
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Old 5th August 2010, 12:56 PM   #18
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: Living together before marriage

This is a difficult one to see without the faith angle.

I find a consideration of the power of touch relevant here. There is an inherent power in touch when used in normal unsexual unconscious ways. One will have to make their own observations to see this in operation in shops and restaurants etc.

When used in sexual ways in a marriage we all know how powerful that is. To a man and a woman outside of marriage it can sometimes convey an intimacy which really isn't there. Scores of couples are deceived by this and mistake sexual relationship as proof of intimacy. Many will find after that act that they are still no closer to the person and in fact many times feel further away. Really they have given something precious of themselves without having that vital comittment.

True intimacy comes first from relationship. If you first have that then the sexual element will be an expression of the intimacy you already have. Too precious to express without the comittment of marriage.

Unfortunately many women undermine themselves and give themselves without that comittment towards them. Sometimes this can be what living together can mean, without a comittment in marriage. Really it is back to front which backs up the better order which is intimate relationship, marriage and then the full sexual expression of the intimacy which you already have which will in it's way help maintain the intimacy you started with. If that is not too confusing.


Last edited by Raymond; 5th August 2010 at 01:02 PM.
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Old 12th August 2010, 10:20 PM   #19
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Re: Living together before marriage

So how do you prevent hormone driven marriages and marriages that are based on level headed decisions if you have no sexual outlet before getting married. Christians have just as bad a divorce rate as non christians if not worse, so just because a woman gives away her virginity does not mean a divorce can not still occure.
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