Hi
I'm new to this forum and came wanting to start a thread of my own on a very similar subject, but I read yours and wanted to sympathise and support you in this.
Firstly, I KNOW how much this hurts and the feelings you are having, and I can hear your cry, believe me. And so early on, too - you feel like, if you are "not enough" this early on, what will happen in years to come, right?
And also that you feel differently during sex, as if you are being compared to others who are impossibly beautiful and sexy!
Along with all the advice offered by others (prayer is really the key) I'd like to offer my own journey loke pop art or
portrait painters into and along this road which is by no means at an end yet.
Pornography of any kind IS a "big deal" and it DOES affect your relationship, especially trust issues, BUT... at the same time, without excusing it, I know that it's much more common amongst men that we like to admit and doesn't have the same meaning to them as it does to us. Judging by my husband's comments, it's in a different mental and emotional space than his love and desire for me, so at least don't doubt his love for you - that way you can go on loving him and praying for him and not get SO angry that you cut off as well. The devil is trying to make your relationship divide, and to cut you off from one another, so be wary of that.
Are there sexual issues between you and your husband that you can talk through - perhaps he feels inadequate, pressured to "perform" in some way, that he won't be good enough for you, or that you love him in a "pure" way that he thinks can't be arousing - I'm only stabbing in the dark here, but it's worth trying to open a discussion about whether there's any fears lurking in his mind that make porn the safest option for him. How can you take the arousal aspects into your bed and home, without it becoming pure lust?
Also, know that God is practical! God will bring these things to the fulness so that they can be exposed for what they are. What is "acceptable" at the moment can become a cause for disgust if God steps in. I prayed that my husband would be given a sense of disgust, and also that he would be led to "go too far" so that his own sense of danger kicked in and warned him.
Another thing I prayed was that I would find out about it, so that I could confront him with something so unacceptable that he and I would be in agreement, instead of arguing from different sides.
All this God did. The result was a big row, but afterwards he was so shocked by himself, that - of his own will - he decided to pull back, and he repented of it.
Remember that we are not warring against flesh and blood, so go to God about the spirits of uncleanness that are affecting your husband, and see him as a victim of their influences.
I hope things work out for you!