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Old 22nd September 2017, 10:09 AM   #1
Freebird
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1
Unhappy I think I know the answer...

I think I know the answer... or do I? So very confused and nobody to talk to.

I'm 50 years old and remarried a childhood sweetheart only six months ago, I was divorced and so was he. When I first reconnected he was seeing someone else although at the time I didn't know, I only found out after about three months. He passed this off as a "friendship" although in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't. Anyway, we were nothing more than boyfriend/girlfriend at the time and although I know it was wrong I passed it off as, well I don't know what.

Our relationship continued and progressed although I was aware that he retained this lady, and others, as "friends", I think always at arms length, in other words at the end of a text message, a messenger message etc. Whenever I became aware of this I challenged him and his response was to reassure me that: they were just friends; he loved me unconditionally; I was being silly, oh the list of excuses went on.

When we're together our relationship is strong, very strong. We both work but spend weekends together, we'll go out for lunch, a walk in the park and things that I am sure most 50+ year olds do, including spending the off Saturday afternoon in bed!

He asked me to marry him late last year and when I look back I think I was foolish when I said yes. We married in March.

Things were good for a little while but less than six months on his "friends" started to reappear. To my knowledge he has never actually met any of these ladies but I have challenged him or chased away several. It has got to the point where I find myself quite literally spying on him, and now this cry for help.

I discovered yesterday many text messages to his ex-wife. They talked about how they still had feelings for each other, how she wished they had fought harder to save their marriage and what they would do when they met!

Again, I have challenged him and he says we are marriage, I am the only one blah, blah, blah. So why do I feel like this?

I think I know what the answer is. I think I know what I should do. I'm sat here thinking I must be going mad.
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Old 25th September 2017, 10:37 AM   #2
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: I think I know the answer...

Sounds to me like there were murky waters to begin with but you went ahead anyway. If one marries all other potential romantic ties should be cut off. Do you know why his first marriage ended? Part of the problem is I think that he is confused as well. Almost like he is married and not married.
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