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Old 27th February 2012, 06:40 PM   #16
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
Re: my partner seems to be addicted to being unfaithful

You did really well helen coming out of that ..i am just sorry you had to go through it.
as for myself i am already like that scared to leave the computer alone with him, i have even came up with excuse to try and take it to work with me, and the same if his phone isn't around i get worried, did you know in yourself his excuses weren't real but you wanted to stay?
my ex before this was a lier and a cheat and treat me like rubbish, i even woke up 1 night to find him doing things with my best friend, this should have taught me to never put up with anything again,and i said i wouldn't. My partner now was the one that got me out of that mess i must of just put 2 much hope in him, as he treat me brilliantly, i thought he would never be this type.. yet he still does treat me great when hes not doing this, still not an excuse to stay though i know.
So you and raymond are both so very right i must get things worked out in my life and comtemplate how i am going to get out of this and just do it
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Old 27th February 2012, 07:01 PM   #17
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Re: my partner seems to be addicted to being unfaithful

When we first started dating Abby I had no reason to distrust him at all. He was lovely, a real charmer and he was so different to my ex husband that I was bowled over .

Ex hubby was not a man for showing affection at all, the new man was. I really thought it was going to be wonderful.

I guess what started my suspicions was late one night when I couldn't sleep. At this point we weren't living together , but he was from London and I was in Coventry so he'd visit me at weekends. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and as I did , his phone beeped with a text . Ex husband and myself had never had secrets and often used each other's mobiles so without thinking I picked new man's phone up and read the text. It was from a woman . It wasn't graphically sexual but not innocent either . When he found out I'd read it, he literally went mad ! I was shocked . When he calmed down he gave me excuses about him liking his privacy as he had none growing up..... I should have gotten out then !

From then on his mobile was on silent and in his pocket every time he visited me. After a few false starts he moved in with me and I started getting strange pop ups on my PC , we'd been away on holiday and he said my kids must have been viewing sites they shouldn't... so I out a key logger on the pc............ of course it wasn't the kids, it was him...... Live porn sites, dating sites, sexual chat with women on IM..........

God alone knows why I didn't kick him out at that point, I loved him I guess so I just kept taking his excuses.

In between and sometimes for months at a time he was lovely to me and that ( I guess ) seemed to make up for it , at least the way my mind was then !

It came to a head and I did throw him out , but he managed to worm his way back in and for a while I found no evidence of anything........... but they don't change and eventually he went back to his old ways, only this time taking it one stage further and actually having a physical affair with this girl of 17. That's when I came to my senses ....

That was 4 -ish years ago now and I'm now happily engaged to a man I trust completely , it took me a while to get to the point of being able to trust but I got there and you will too.

NOBODY deserves being cheated on . Did I want to believe him ? Yes of course. I loved him . Deep down though I knew I was fooling myself . Someone who loves you doesn't hurt you , doesn't put their own needs or wants first , doesn't lie and cheat .

You deserve so much better .
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Old 1st March 2012, 12:50 PM   #18
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Re: my partner seems to be addicted to being unfaithful

Abby I can only commiserate with you. I threw my now ex-partner out last week after finally having taken enough lies and tales from him.

He had a driving job which meant leaving early in the morning, but found ways of getting out earlier to go to another woman's bed at 4am. Of course he then finished by lunchtime, which gave him ample opportunity to have affairs (although he denied this) before returning home at 4pm claiming to have had a bad day.

His downfall, was facebook. When he met someone he would be all over them on fb, coded messages with songs, pictures etc... her partner and I swapped stories and her partner saw her phone with explicit messages from my partner on it..

Over the past 18 months I think he has had flings/affairs with at least 15 other women, and has a serial record of short lasting relationships prior to that.. he has a problem he cannot deal with, and until he does he will never last in a relationship but he is 51 now, he cannot go on charming the women for ever and a day and has nothing to show for it except bags of clothes.

I am grieving for my loss, which happened just before valentines day this year, I still love him, but cannot trust him or want him back after two attempts I have to be strong for me

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Old 1st March 2012, 05:46 PM   #19
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: my partner seems to be addicted to being unfaithful

You did the right thing Sage. Adultery kills a marriage without sincere repentance and change.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote

engaged, hurt, relationship, unfaithful

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