Hi Mimi,
Thank you for sharing here. You know there are huge pressures for us to be happy and have good, comfortable feelings in life today. The media bombards us with messages about our right to be happy, but I actually think God's more interested in our being content and following his ways for our life. You've made that choice and chosen wisely and I don't think He will ever let you really regret what you have done.
There are probably several men that we might have chosen to marry, but once we've made that decision we need to turn away from the others and to accept and cherish the one we have. That is an act of the will.
Love is not simply about romantic feelings but about commitment and wanting the best for the other. I think it takes time after we have married to learn not to be self centred and to grow together. Most folk go into marriage with romantic feelings seeing their loved one as perfect. Then reality hits and they discover that neither of them are perfect and it takes effort and commitment to build a really strong relationship. That's when those who have only chosen because of their feelings have nothing to fall back on and may give up, but if you can press on through that stage you can find the stage of real joy when you both know each other intimately.
I do believe God can give you that passion and deep desire for your husband and that it isn't wrong to pray for that – it’s what He wants for every married couple, but do be prepared to let Him show you what He means by deep love and passion for one another. It might look a bit different from what you are expecting.
It will take time, but one of the joys we have found is that, although we still go through times of disillusionment, we have our commitment and love to fall back on which brings us through and makes us even more deeply aware of how special we are to each other. To go on being surprised by new discoveries and new passion for each other is wonderful and far better than expecting to live on a Hollywood high all the time.
Why not have a look at the
early years section of the site. There are articles there to help understand your
feelings and what
love is really all about. You might also find Gary Chapman's book,
The Five Love Languages interesting too.
A few years down the line you mioght like to consider doing a
marriage enrichment programme to help you along the way. We did one when we had been married five years and it gave a real boost to our marriage and taught us a lot about our feelings and our communication.
I do pray that you will have that abundance of life that Jesus died to bring (John 10v10b)
Liz